Awful Scare

My little girl scared me to death today. I had just gotten off of work (4PM) and had laid Daisy down in her crib for her nap. I always lay her down awake and spin her mobile so she can start relaxing. She usually falls asleep quite peacefully on her own though I do come in a couple more times to rewind the mobile and give her pacifier back. I usually sit in my office which is wall to wall with her room so I can literally hear every peep and sniffle that she makes without her seeing me and wanting me to pick her up.

I was sitting in my office chair and all of a sudden I hear Daisy make an off the wall, bizarre, heart stopping, choke noise. It almost sounded like a cough so I almost ignored it until she made another noise just like it and I know my daughters noises frontwards and backwards and that was a noise of danger. I felt my body go cold and I jumped out of my chair in a panic and went racing into her room. Daisy had scooted herself (on her back) into one of the corners of her crib and for the life of me I cannot figure out what happened. Maybe when she scooted her clothes had gotten caught tightly around her neck from her pulling them up by scooting back or maybe she bent her head weird in the corner of the crib but, I kid you not she was purple, not breathing, had snot running out of her nose, pus in her eyes and had tears gushing, but no crying. I grabbed her out of the crib so fast while borderline screaming, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God," Smacked her back as hard as I could...I really didn't know what else to try in that moment of panic. Truthfully, it all unfolded much more quickly than it felt all thanks to God. She began breathing and crying immediately after though she was still struggling with snot in her throat and her eyes seemed a bit glazed over.

I have never in my life felt the terror and horror that I felt in those few short moments. Thoughts of losing my child, thoughts of not having enough time to call 911, thoughts of feeling utterly helpless, thoughts of everything you can imagine flashed through my mind and what bothered me most is that I am not sure for the life of me what caused her to struggle to breathe. She had no toys or things in her crib to play with or choke on. That freaks me out big time because I don't want it to happen again but, how can I prevent something when I do not know the cause? This is one of those situations where I will have to trust the Lord to take care of my precious baby and hope and pray that this was just a bizarre fluke thing.

I continued to shake for a good 10 minutes after everything was over. I felt sick, nauseous, dizzy, weak...just downright awful. I'm sure you all have had a similar situation with your kiddos. It's got to be the worst feeling in the world! All I can say is thank you Jesus that Daisy is okay, thank you Jesus that I heard her when I did and that I was able to get her breathing again. THank you Jesus!