To Every Parent With a Spirited Child

If you have a spirited kiddo.  I just want you to know...I LUV YAH AND YOU ARE AWESOME. 

Before my son was born, patience came more naturally to me and so many of my friends would comment on how "patient I was all the time." Not trying to brag...it's just a fact...excuse me, it was a fact.

 

 I cherished every second of motherhood with my only kiddo and I delighted in my role as a stay at home mom.  I probably only raised my voice once at my daughter in five years.  She was an easy kiddo overall.  She was always smiling and so content to observe everything.  She made me feel so loved (which I realize isn't her job but, it was an extra treat!)because I was always able to calm her down, cheer her up and make her feel better in any given situation.  She required literally slim to no physical discipline because all I had to say was a gentle, "no, no," and she would move on to something else.  She has been my best buddy, literally since the moment she was born. Ahhhhh, the good ol' days.  

Then my son was born...and don't freak out on me people.  I ADORE my son and I LOVE having a son.  Bruin is SO unbelievably cute and incredibly funny.  He is a great sleeper and the sweetest snuggle buddy that there ever was.  I will brag more about him later but, for now I need to vent/complain/be real/be crazy. 

My son, my son.  

He is spirited and passionate and extremely LOUD.  

He was pretty mellow for the first 6 weeks of his life and then he took a sharp turn and just started crying 88.9% of every day.  

We tried everything that good parents try to rule out all of the possible causes.  Hungry? Nope. Poopy? Nope.  Tired? Nope.  Too hot?  Nope. Too cold? Nope.  We were told that maybe he was just a colicky kid. That actually gave us a sense of peace because now we had light in the tunnel.  

It was SO mentally draining to not be able to cheer up my son.  The constant crying depleted me in every way and I often felt like my child didn't even like me or need me.  That wasn't true of course but, it felt that way and it hurt so much.  It was a very discouraging season (well, technically it is still ongoing but, not quite as hard I guess.) I didn't want to go anywhere because I didn't want to have to talk over a screaming child or shop with a screaming child etc.  That's not fun at all.  On the other hand, sometimes he surprised me and enjoyed himself at a play date etc. and that was such a HUGE treat.  But, the unpredictable nature of his mood, made it so hard to want to go anywhere.  

A year passed and I realized that I wasn't dealing with colic at all...I had just been given the great honor of raising a spirited child.  

I couldn't help but, think back on all of the times that I saw a mom (or friend) struggling with her screaming child in every store I had ever been in.  I used to feel bad for the child (and the mother of course too but, mostly the sad child).  I wondered if the mother just didn't understand her child very well or maybe she wasn't a very patient mother.  It actually hurt my heart to hear children screaming because I had never really experienced that kind of screaming before.  I wanted to go hug those kiddos and help calm them down because hugs and sweet words worked perfectly with my daughter. 

Surely, those things worked for all children! 

I thought my patience and gentleness were a big part of the reason why my daughter was so sweet and easy. 

 Psh. Not at all.  Ok. Well, maybe like 5% of the reason.  I deserve a little credit I guess. 

When my son sets his mind to something, there is nothing on Earth that will deter him from what he wants. I suppose that would be okay if we only had to deal with one thing like that every day but, the thing about strong-willed kiddos is...that is every moment of their life.   

Diaper changes = hiding and avoiding and when caught, screaming, flailing and nashing of teeth. 

Getting dressed = clothes too tight, too small, too scratchy, too cold, too hot, too blue, too white, too cute, too clean. 

Hats = forget about it. never ever ever....getting back together.    

Gloves in subzero temperatures = throwing them on the ground and screaming NOOOOO.  Oh you can keep trying to put them on and keep demanding that they stay on but, CHILD WILL WIN.  You just give up and let their hands freeze.  THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

Grocery shopping = 10.2 seconds of calm before said strong willed child scans the store and finds something to ask for and then screams the entire duration of the trip because you say no.  They will also ask through snot and tears for the item at least 1.4 million more times before you get to the cash register and ask if they sell a pill to euthanize yourself. 

I bring snacks, toys and cell phones to the store as well but, when a spirited kiddo wants something it's all over.  Goodnight.  

Oh and P.S. They will also scream the entire way home from the store in the car. 

Wiping dirty noses = lots and lots and lots of screaming.  Sounds like someone is being chopped into tiny pieces every time.

Meal Time = a slow painful death.  They stare at the food you lovingly prepared for them and then pick it up and throw it.  You discipline in love and they careth not...and do it all over again.  You even try to make their favorite food...or a special meal just for them and even still they decide that at that given moment...it is not their favorite meal after all and you have yet again FAILED. 

I eat most meals in somber silence trying desperately to crawl away in my mind to some happier place. 

Getting in the car = sounds simple enough.  WRONG.  I never knew how stiff the human body could become while still alive.  A two year old child can simply refuse to bend into the sitting position required by most car seats.  You can even put most of your shoulder wait gently against their body and they will still be stronger than you and don't forget, they will be pulling your hair whilst you attempt to bend them.  

 

Buying your child a toy = Of course you love your strong willed child so occasionally you want to buy them something fun.  JUST DON'T.  The color and size will be wrong. They will want to open the box immediately and will refuse to wait to get to the register.  Then they will ask for "MORE," and throw the goodie on the ground because it is just not GOOD ENOUGH.  You will then go and buy yourself a goodie to ease your suffering. 

Strong willed kids are not bad children.  They are not poorly raised children.  They are not brats.  They can be very WELL LOVED and yet they are simply spirited.  That is all.  

I've changed drastically between child one and child two.  I've even learned that each of my children require a completely different parenting style from me.  That has been and will continue to be a tough skill to learn and implement.  

Daisy is quick to learn and obey.  She requires a gentle tone and very little follow through.  She has a heart that loves to please and usually obey.  

Bruin requires a much firmer tone and follow through...every. single. time.  He still needs lots of love and positive affirmation too of course.  He is a super sensitive little guy.  But, I quickly realized that the way I parent Daisy was not working with Bruin.  Bruin's nature is to resist direction at all costs.  LOL.  Gosh, I love him.  

  I have learned so much about people and life from my two children.   I have a million times more compassion for Mothers with strong willed kiddos.  I've also learned that as parents we must be willing to adjust ourselves and our parenting styles to bring out the best in each of our kiddos.  That is what love does.  It's hard and it hurts sometimes but, it's wise.  I've learned that I can create two humans in my stomach and they can look pretty dang similar on the outside but, be NOTHING alike on the inside.  I can love them both just as passionately but, they will still be vastly different people. 

To Every Parent with a Strong Willed Child, I send you my love, encouragement, support and zero judgement.  Carry on Momma.  Keep loving your spirited kiddo with all your heart and I will do the same.  It won't be long before we will get to enjoy seeing what awesome little leaders these kiddos turn out to be.  God will take care of the rest! 

Peace. Love. 

Casey 

 

 

 

  

Bruin is TWO!

Happy 2nd Birthday to our super adorable, sensitive, silly, feisty and sweet little Bru Bear! 

You are so very loved my little Prince. 

His second birthday party was Mickey Mouse theme.  And since Bruin has watched more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse than any other show, it seemed fitting for him to be holding Mickey in his 2 year portraits:).  He loves "Miggeeeeee!" 

I took these pictures of Bruin (and some with he and Daisy) about a week before his 2nd birthday.  He has actually gotten surprisingly good at sitting for a few seconds and saying cheese with the promise of a lollipop afterwards.

 Below:  He has figured out that he has gotten a drum set.  The poppy flew out of his mouth a moment later when he squealed with delight.  HE WAS SO HAPPY!!  We decided to leave the other presents for later because we wanted him to take the time to enjoy the drum set.  We opened the remaining presents on his actual birthday.  So many people have told me that I am so brave to allow a drum set into my house...lol, I want to say a few things to that point.  One: These are not as loud as a real drum and they are super cheap.  They might last a few months at best...lol so I won't have to listen to it all that long.  Two: They don't play them all the time and most of the time I am just so happy when my kids leave me alone for three seconds so I can tolerate the noise for a little bit here and there.  Three: I am brave...and a little crazy so you are accurate.  lol

Bruin is the sweetest cuddle bug.  I am thankful for a baby that is so affectionate.  It's not all the time and it really is only on his terms but, it's THE BEST.  He loves to lay his head on my shoulder at least a hundred times a day.  He gives lots of hugs and kisses.  He loves to sit right next to me on the couch or in my bed and he likes to lean on my arm.  I would definitely say that one of Bruin's love languages is affection.  

His vocabulary is growing daily but, he is definitely taking his time with talking and even comprehension which of course can be very frustrating because he is always frustrated and I can't communicate with him...sigh.  Here are some of the words that I do hear him say frequently: Mum, Day Day (Daisy), no, star, uh huh, candee, migee (Mickey), noz (nose), ug (hug), heah (head), duck, bungee (bunkee), popeee, car, tuck (truck), show, light, chair, eye, tee (teeth), brush, dink (drink), chee (cheese), hiiii, byyyy, doggie, kiiy (kitty), bug, shew (shoes), hai (hair), hewp (help).

PS the irony of this cake is that by Bruin's birthday both my husband and I were eating gluten free so neither of us could eat any.  I had already ordered and paid for it before hand so there was no point in cancelling it. Daisy doesn't like cupcakes so she didn't want one...soooo...we had 24 cupcakes just for Bruin and he ate half of one...talk about a waste.  But, a very cute waste! 

Bruin wears size 2T or 24 months in just about everything but, 2T is still on the bigger side for him.  He wears a size 6.5 shoe but, I have been getting him 7 lately.  Size 5 diapers.  

Bruin is a very picky eater.  I can tell that his sensory issues effect his ability to tolerate textures and really hinder his adventurous spirit when it comes to food.  

He has been enjoying a bowl of cereal with a tiny bit of milk for breakfast the past couple of weeks.  His favorite thing to eat on planet earth is applesauce squeezers.  He absolutely must start each morning with one and he probably inhales about 3 a day.  He likes cheese sticks and sandwich slices.  He likes, bread, plain pancakes, hashbrowns, mac n' cheese and most all pasta, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruit (grapes, strawberries, blueberries, watermelon, mandarin oranges, pears, peaches, bananas, basically he loves all fruit).  He likes a little bit of sushi (not nearly as much as Daisy), some pizza if he is in the mood, chicken pieces, Daddy's grilled meats, crackers and anything sweet.  Bruin is definitely my sweet tooth kiddo.  He is obsessed with cake!  It is his favorite treat to eat but, he is happy with anything sweet.  He mostly drinks very diluted apple juice.  He doesn't like to drink he milk in the morning anymore for some reason and he refuses water most of the time unless it is in sister's school water bottle.  

He loves watching various shows on my cell phone off and on when I let him.  He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse but, he also loves the youtube kids ap.  He will usually watch shows about cars, trucks or sing along songs. He also loves Goldie and Bear and Little Einsteins.  I also have a few Wiggles DVD's in my van and he enjoys watching those as well.  

Bruin loves shoes and he quickly learned how to get his own shoes and ask us to put them on him ("shoe, shoe!" whenever he wants to go anywhere.   

He loves taking his nap everyday.  Bruin is the type of kid who pretty much lets you know that he wants to go to sleep.  He often grabs his blanket and puts his own pacifier in his mouth.  He will put his blanket on my shoulder and ask me to pick him up.  Then he lays his head on my shoulder and points to his room.  It cracks me up and melts me all at once.  Daisy has never once in her life ever wanted to go to bed so to have a kiddo who is the exact opposite is a crack up.  When I lay him on his pillow pal he has his eyes closed almost instantly.  He is never wild and amped up at nap time. He is ready for it. :) He doesn't nap long unfortunately.  Daisy used to take a three hour nap ever day for nearly 3 years.  Yes, I was spoiled.  Bruin is more of an hour to hour and a half napper.  On the other hand he likes to go to bed at 7 sharp!  And he sleeps solid most every night until 6:30 AM.  And if you are wondering I have attempted to adjust his bedtime in hopes that he might sleep just a hair later in the morning but, it makes no difference.  Early rising is in his blood. Sigh.  I am very thankful that he is a great sleep overall.  No complaints here. 

Bruin loves when I pull up a couple of chairs to the kitchen sink.  He climbs up and plays with the dishes, water and soap.  He could probably play there for an hour each time if I let him but, I usually have to stand next to him because the chair gets super wet and slippery and he falls a lot.  But, he loves it so we try to do this activity once every few days.  

He loves to help us cook or bake!  I don't love doing this with him yet but, I try to find things for him to do when I can.  He is great at helping me load the washer or dryer or empty the dishwasher.  He is at that helping stage.  He wants to help with everything which makes everything that much more difficult.  LOL.  It is also SUPER cute too. 

He loves to throw things both when he is being silly and when he is angry.  I've been hit in the face once or twice by a very big toy and it was not fun lemme tell yah.  But, I am hoping we can channel that energy into a fast ball pitch here pretty soon.  

Bruin loves being outside, going on walks, exploring, driving Daisy's jeep, or riding her scooter (I push him around).  He loves going to new places and seeing new things.  

He seems the most unhappy and bored when we are home all day...which is a bummer because that used to be my favorite thing before he was born. LOL.  Now, I try to get out once a day to burn some of Bruin's energy and to help me stay sane.  Otherwise, he cries 100X more if we stay home all day.  I'm not gonna lie....he is a tough cookie most days.  But, I love em to pieces.  

Bruin loves animals and he knows must about every farm animal and the sound that they make.  I need to record his sounds on a video very soon!  Daisy was always scared of dogs as a toddler and even now but, Bruin loves dogs and cats.  Bruin and his Daddy are twins when it comes to their passion and their love for animals. lol   

He loves to wake up in the morning and come in to my bed and watch shows for around 30 minutes.  I am so thankful for this down time before starting the day.  At night Bruin likes us to read him two books and then he knows it's time to turn off the like, get rocked and we sing a song to him and then he is ready for bed.  He likes his routines and seems to feel secure in them.

I love this little guy so much even if he does wear my brain ragged more often than not with all of his whining and crying.  lol.  If you have a whiney child, let's just say that I understand you a whole lot more now than I did with my first child.  Peace and love! lol

  

Our Sweet Boy is ONE!

Our little guy is one!

 I'm still processing it all to be honest.  I think the first year with a child is such a whirlwind of adjusting, sleepless nights, learning, juggling, bonding, diaper changes, spit up, blow outs, nursing, melt downs (Mommy;), exhaustion, teething, doctor appointments, cuddles and so on...you can barely blink and it's gone!


Bruin has already been taking steps for over a month.  Full blown walking is on it's way any day now.  We are about to embark on another wild year of adventures and discoveries!

He had 11 teeth on his first birthday.  ELEVEN.  Heaven help me I hope this next year is a little easier. He is a little over a week away from being 13 months old and he currently has 12 teeth and is cutting 2 incisors!  Holy cow.

Bruin has been such a fun and also a very noisy addition to our family.  He keeps us going from the moment he rises until he lays his sweet little head down to sleep.  He loves to be held most of the day and he loves to eat.  I would say those are probably his two favorite things at this point.  He also loves to see new things, places and people.  He loves to grunt and make lots of silly faces and sounds.  He gives the best kisses, cuddles and giggles but, only on his terms and only when he feels like it.  He also loves to sleep though he has never been great at taking long naps but, he sure needs them (30 minutes and all!).  Bruin adores his big sister in his own way and he tries to follow her everywhere.  He is constantly screaming for her to give him whatever she has and he gets so made if she doesn't.  He will clench his fists, under bite his jaw and turn bright red while he screams.  He is intense...that is putting it lightly. lol.  He says "da da" or "daaahhdeeey" so sweetly every time he sees his Daddy and he screams "Muh Muh," whenever he wants to eat or be held by me.  lol  He says "duh" (duck) every time he sees a duck in the bath or in his animal books. He also says Day for Daisy and Huh for hi:).  For some reason the name duck has been the easiest for him to pick up on.

He is standing up on his own without pulling up on anything!  That impressed all of us because Daisy didn't do that for a really long time and I think she was even walking well before she got the hang of standing up without pulling up on something.   Bruin figured it out about a week after turning one.  He just kept trying to stand up in the middle of the room over and over and over again until he finally got it and then he wouldn't stop doing it.  He has been standing up like this ever since but, the scary thing for me is that he still teeters a ton and face plants often.  I hate watching him tip forward toward the floor, face first, with a pacifier in his mouth...so I feel like I have to follow him everywhere to keep him from busting his lips open every day.  It's that uber exhausting..."try to keep your kid from seriously injuring themselves every second of the day" phase of parenting.  I'm whipped....At 13 months he is full blown walking..toddling really but, still he doesn't want to crawl at all anymore.  He is SO determined!

My son fell asleep in my arms while I was nursing him tonight. That has probably only happened all of 3 times this year so you can imagine how much I cherish these moments when they happen.  I try all day to keep this little guy happy and it's not an easy task but, the fact that he feels safe, comfortable and secure in my arms, enough to finally let his wild energy go and fall asleep with me makes it all right in the world again.  As I held him in my arms I gazed at his sweet eyelashes and his freshly washed bath hair.  I began to pray that God would help me to become the Mommy that I need to be to bring out the best in him.  I have quickly learned that my children are completely different (of course) and that as a result I may need to adapt my parenting and love languages to meet each of them where they are at...or at least try.  I need God to show me how to do this because I know it won't be easy!

This was when he started going bald and we called it the "old man," stage. lol.   We were doing some serious teething at this point and this was also about the time when things became super challenging just about every day with our little guy. Bruin has been such a tough baby in so many ways.  He has cried so many days despite every effort in my strength to cheer him up and the days often are weeks.  I feel like we have probably had about 90% fussy, irritable days and 10% cheerful over the past year.  I feel bad saying that but, I also want to document what it has really been like so that I can hopefully look back and praise God when this season passes. Or maybe Bruin will have a tough baby someday and he can reflect on this and understand better where that passion came from (hehe).  I am a sensitive momma and when my babies cry endlessly it breaks my heart and my spirit unfortunately.  I went through a few month phase where I felt like he didn't even like me.  I was always able to soothe Daisy and cheer her up when she was an infant.  With Bruin I have tried so hard to adapt to his personality and to "figure him out," but, he is just much more fiery and much harder to console.  I have been trying to figure out how to come to terms with this because it doesn't make it any easier to handle all the days of endless fussing.  On the other hand I have to give my poor guy some credit because he currently has 12 teeth fully in and is currently cutting at least 3?  His teething has been non-stop, brutal and I can only imagine how irritating that has been for him.  He has had quite a few low grade fevers and quite a few earaches as well due to teething so I guess he probably has a few reasons to be fussy.  That is why I am praying that once he gets through this rough teething phase that he might cheer up a bit!  In Jesus name I pray.  Fussy or not, his sweet smiles, bright eyes, chubby cheeks, arms and pouty lips have captured my heart since day one.  He may be tough but, goodness I love him to itty bitty pieces.   I knew I didn't get around to snapping of shot of him each month...just couldn't remember which month it was until now...guess I wasn't feeling so hot on month five! hahaha Soooo, on to month six! I enjoyed snapping these shots of Bruin with his half birthday hat on:).  I love this picture:).  The birthday hat was a last minute idea to capture the "half birthday," and I'm glad I did it.  I see this picture popping up on our slideshows in years to come.  I was planning to take Bruin's monthly picture in this IKEA chair in his room but, by month six I realized that there was no way in heck he was going to stand for the patient chair pictures any longer.  So I started moving the pictures outside as often as I could after this.  But the chair shots were cute while they lasted:).  And a sidenote:  I LOVE having this IKEA chair in Bruin's room.  I got a glider rocker for Daisy and though I enjoyed the rocking motion it didn't recline much and I always felt like I was sitting up to upright.  This chair has a slight lean in the back and I just like the simplicity of it.  The arms aren't padded so a nursing pillow helped in the early months but, now I just rest my elbow on the arm rest and it's fine.   yah, forget about it... see those teefers...poor miserable boo boo bear. they were taking FOREVER to come in...probably about 3 months at least. Finally they came through but, then the next 10 came in so it's been pretty much non-stop!  Sorry buddy you didn't get that gene from your momma!  lol this was a fun session. Bruin was able to sit up while propped up against something and he just looked like such a big boy in his outfit. Plus he was really starting to give us so many facial expressions by seven months and his hair was really starting to come back in:).  It has been so fuzzy and all over the place...so different than Daisy's hair.    I have a few of these pictures on the wall in our home. Love this little boy to pieces.   The outfit was given to us by a friend and it was one that I couldn't wait for him to wear:).  You have great taste Chaissons:).  and then there was 8 months:) I tried snapping some pictures outside but, the lighting was horrible so I brought Bruin inside and sat him in  entry way. Well, he wasn't much of a sit still kiddo anymore at this point...but, I managed to snap a few and kept him from smacking his face on the hardwood floors.  Mission Accomplished.  He was also teething four additional teeth at this point.  They just kept coming in SO FAST!! 

Nine months!! I didn't think I took pics this month but, I just found these in a folder that wasn't labeled...way to be unorganized mom...gotta work on that...maybe when the kids grow up I'll have time for organization! 

I digress, Bruin loved having his teddy bear around and he seemed to really enjoy being outside, playing with the leaves and sitting in the sunshine while we all hooted and cheered for him to smile.  He is becoming just as much of a ham as his sister:).   You will notice that he was happy as a clam until big sister put her arm around him...He has never been a fan of people squeezing him and especially not a fan of sister trying to put an arm around him.  Not sure why but, he goes downhill from there...and so did big sis. LOL  It was pretty funny though if I do say so and we quickly swooped them both up and took a walk to make it all better again.  hehehe.  sibling love.

Ten months!  It was October so a pumpkin seemed fitting! Plus the pumpkin really helped to keep Bruin in one place long enough to snap a few pictures before he tried to crawl away.  I really do love the stage of the "sitting baby."  It doesn't last nearly long enough though! lol.  At this point Bruin was crawling all over the place and was getting into everything.  Forget about all the awesome toys laying around.  All he wants is to get into our pantry, freezer, bathroom toilets, trash can or anything else messy or gross.  Also, he was standing up on everything and falling just as often.  We tried to watch him like a hawk because we really didn't want him splitting his noggin' open on one of our cabinet corners or other sharp cornered object.  It was a bit tiresome to keep him safe but, it's what you do for these little loves!  I do so love soaking up life through the eyes of a little one again.  Everything is new and exciting for them and it reminds me to see things in a new light again myself.  Sometimes we need the powerful reminder to appreciate the little things a bit more.  Thanks buddy for teaching your Momma!

then I remembered that dang monthly sticker....hurry put it on and let's snap a few more before he notices and rips it off:). Hand him a leaf! Hand him a pine needle! Jump around like a monkey:). oh how I love when he gets this giant happy grin on his face. I can't help but, talk in that high pitched baby voice and squeal with delight when I see it:). "Oh wittle baby boy I wuv you soooo much. You are so so cute wittle bubbus!  Do you know how much your mama wuvs you buddy? So so so so much!" 

And then there was 11 months...probably my most favorite of all the monthly picture sessions...just loved his expressions, his outfit and it was such a lovely day outside.  I felt like this session sums up his personality quite well:).

Bruin's 12 month session was an
                                                    epic
                                                             fail.


I was so busy with his birthday party planning, Christmas shopping and oh gee, just life in general that I just didn't have time to get around to it.  I even had a really cute idea up my sleeve but, oh well...
 I know that some of you may think it's silly to be upset about such a thing but, after having done so many previous months I should have pushed myself to finish up the year with a bang.  Regret...but, hopefully this will be something that I will regret very little at the end of my life...I realize it is a drop in the bigger picture. lol

I did however do a cake smash session with Bruin and it was so much fun!  I will share those pictures hopefully soon...I never got around to doing a cake smash with Daisy so I was pretty proud of myself for tackling it with Bruin.  As always, motherhood and life in general is all about giving ourselves lots of grace.  So, I guess I will work on that some more!  We win some we lose some.

A quick stat update:

I am still nursing Bruin at this point.  I have also been adding some whole milk into his daily diet but, he hasn't taken to it nearly as well as Daisy did.  He sips a little bit but, mostly holds out for his next nursing session.  I was really hoping to be close to done by now but, Bruin is calling very different shots.  I am curious to see how this will go down.

Bruin wears size 12 months mostly and sometimes 12-18 months in shirts and jammies.  He wears size 4 diapers ( I just started buying the Target brand because they are great after year 1 and so much cheaper!) and about a size 4 shoe but, he hasn't worn shoes..just the mocs that I got him from a company I follow on facebook called Simple Addiction (awesome name huh...lol).  They basically look like the super expensive Freshly picked mocs only they cost $12 so I couldn't pass them up.  I have absolutely loved them.  If I ever have another kiddo I will buy them again for sure.

Bruin goes to bed at 7 pretty punctually every night and wakes up around 6ish.  Usually I can stretch him to 6:45 or 7 but, he fusses a bit more often than not.  Whenever I am about to go into his room and get him I talk into the monitor and say, "I'm coming buddy.  I'll be right there."  I might take another five minutes to get to him but, he always calms down and snuggles in his blankets while he waits.  I never make him wait long after saying that and I love that he seems to understand that I am coming.
He naps around 9 or 9:30 and sleeps for maybe 40 minutes to an hour usually and then again naps in the afternoon around 1 or 1:30 for another hour.  He has never been the longest napper but, sometimes he surprises me and takes a longer nap...once ever few weeks.

Bruin does not like being home.  When we are home all he wants to do is cry or be held.  SO I HOLD HIM A LOT.  My back and arms are burning all the time but, if it makes him happy it is worth it to me.  I also go out almost every single day just to help break up the day.  His fussing can drive me batty but, when we go out he often does so much better...up to a certain point.  I always try to time our outings so that I can get back home for his naps because it makes such a difference with his moods.

He eats just about whatever we eat, just in smaller pieces of course.  He has had steak, chicken, sushi, etc.  He loves almost everything.  He seems to resist carrots...throws them on the floor every time.  Not sure that I can blame him.  I'm not a big fan myself.  And peaches are hit and miss.  He does choke on occasion because he stuff too much food in his mouth and doesn't chew before trying to swallow so I never leave him unattended when he is eating in case I need to stick a finger in his mouth and swoop something out.  He does really well overall though.

Bruin loves stuffed animals.  We got him a giant teddy bear for Christmas and it sits in a chair in his room.  He cuddles "teddy," kisses, and waves hi to him all day long.  It is the cutest thing ever.  He has about 6 stuffed animals and he waves hi to all of them.  I adore his little wave...hopefully I can get it on video before he moves on.

Bruin likes baths but, only if I give them to him.  He cries when Daddy gives him a bath.  Sorry Daddy.  I have to keep his baths really short and I've learned how to get through the hair washing part which really bothers him.

He is a major, major momma's boy.  I am sure this is simply because I am with him all day long and I nurse him.  Daisy was the same way for quite some time but, she has since become so much more of a Daddy's girl.  Bruin cries a lot with Daddy if I leave him with him for too long and he tries to find me in the house if I am not in the room.  This phase makes things a bit harder for all of us but, we are all trying to make the most of it.  I realize it is a super short season.  And I have to give my hubby props for not getting upset about it.  He handles it like a champ really.

Bruin tolerates the car but, only for super short drives.  After that it's lots of screaming.  I look forward to when he will watch a show in the car with big sis and we will get a tiny piece of silence:). YESSSS!

He is currently still in his infant car seat but, not for much longer.  His transitional car seat should arrive any day now. So by 13 months he will be moving on up.  Big boy!

He is walking a ton right now...not consistently but, a ton...more steps than crawling.  He is so proud of himself when he does it too.  MELTS ME!!

I could never kiss his face or cheeks, or the crook of his neck, or his shoulders or his hands or his feet enough.  I'm one of the few people who he tolerates that from so I feel pretty lucky:).

So have I learned anything new after a year with this adorable little boy?

Sure, lots of things!

Boys are much rougher than girls...his idea of playing is usually decking me in the face and then laughing.

Bruin loves Daisy but, he isn't very sweet with her.  He will occasionally give her kisses when she asks him for them and he loves to give high fives but, that is where it stops.  Daisy is very affectionate with him...lots of kisses and hugs that he does not want.  He lets her know that he wants space by screaming at her and then  hitting her in the face.  His face is also quite expressive.  He doesn't hit her and laugh, he hits her and then looks at her with a shrewd expression that means business.  He's definitely not the nurturer in the family. lol.

Good times.

Private parts are not all that private when you are a boy (and it's hilarious)....TMI?  sorry...TMI is just how I roll.

I can never feed this kid ENOUGH.  He eats ALL day LONG.  And I am quite sure that it will never end because I'm married to a fella just like him.

Boys are SO SO CUTE.  I love dressing him and I love having more boy toys around the house.  It has  been so fun!

Life with two kids has been dramatically harder for me to adjust to than life with one kiddo..but,...big, big but, it has truly been worth it all of course.  Daisy has completely changed as a result of having a sibling and seeing her grow up as much as she has this past year has been incredible.  I have literally watched her bloom into a much more independent lady overnight...it's hurt my heart a bit to see how quickly the change took place but, it's also a very sweet thing at the same time.  You get me right?

I've learned that life with four is far more entertaining and adventurous than I ever could have imagined in the best way possible.

My son is NON-STOP.  He has helped me lose all of my pregnancy weight...no gym membership required.  He kicks my hiney better than any zumba or yoga class ever could.  LOL.

Even though the days are so so long sometimes, the years fly by.  My greatest desire with my kiddos is to be as present as possible.  Tomorrow is never promised but, today while I am here I hope to love on the ones I love as fully as I can.

So thankful that God has given me two precious kiddos to raise and love on.  What a gift children are!

Happy First Birthday my sweet little boy!  Your Momma loves everything about you and I can't wait to see what God has in store for you in the years to come.

Bruin is Eleven Months

Wears size 4 diapers.  Actually just moved up to 4 last week.  Much better because 3 was getting quite snug and leaking a little too often!

Wears size 3 or 4 shoes which is crazy to me.  I got a few pairs of Mocs from a site when they were having a sale and they have been perfect for Bruin.  I like them so much more than the slip ons I had when Daisy was a baby.  These are easy to put on and take off, they are comfy and they are flexible so he can learn to walk in them easily.  I adore the Freshly Picked Mocs but, I am too cheap to spend $60 on a pair of baby shoes...I scored mine for $11.95.  That I couldn't pass up!  Thank you wonderful people who make cute and affordable knock offs:).  

Wears size 12 months in just about everything now.  Sometimes I buy footie jammies and other pajamas, in size 18 months because 12 months will be too small in a month at best.  

This boy LOVES to eat.  I cannot emphasize that enough.  Daisy liked to eat as well as a baby but, Bruin eats so much more than she ever did.  Sounds very much like a boy right.  I feel like our entire day revolves around snacks and meals...and lots of them.  lol.  He eats just about anything and everything.  Last night we ate sushi and he ate an entire raw sushi roll and tons of rice.  He loved the salmon.  He likes salty and sweet foods.  He has definitely caught on to flavor and he isn't fond of bland food any longer.  I can get away with an apple or banana baby food but, that is about all I give him now.  For breakfast he usually eats an applesauce, some baby yogurt bites or breat/biscuits/hashbrowns and some bites of my cereal if I am having some.  He usually has a snack of crackers or something like that around 10 and then he is ready for lunch by 12 or earlier.  For lunch I give him any combination of things such as: green beans, cheese, veggie sticks, sandwich meat, chicken nuggets, bread rolls, black beans, cut up oranges from the jar or peaches, fish sticks, banana pieces, yams, meatballs, etc.  He clears his tray every time!  Dinner is pretty much like lunch only I will give him some of whatever we are eating for dinner.  He loves variety and if we are eating you can bet that he will cry and whine for a bite of whatever we are having.  

I have also been giving him a his own sippy cup of water for a month or two now and he has gotten a lot better and tipping his cup up to get water sips.  He doesn't seem to love it though and I hope he grows to love it more soon because I don't plan to nurse a whole lot longer.  Of course he will also be drinking whole milk so maybe he will like that more than water:).  

While I am on the subject of nursing; I am still nursing which is great because I was hoping to nurse at least a full year or a bit more.  I think I was done nursing Daisy by 15 months and she pretty much weaned herself.  Bruin is SO much more atatched to nursing.  He only takes one side which has been a bit annoying lol.  Some days he wants to nurse every hour and I think it really is because my supply is so low now but, other days if he is happy and distracted he can go four hours...that is extremely rare though.  He no longer needs to be nursed at night which is so wonderful lemme tell yah.  I think I was nursing him at night at some point until he was 8 or 9 months old.  Then we got to one feeding at around 5 AM and now he is up by 6 or 6:30 to nurse and start the day.  

He sleeps from 7 PM until 6 AM.  It was 7 AM until the time change totally screwed us up and he hasn't slept in until 7 since then...arg.  He naps from around 9:30 until around 10:00-11...totally depends on the day and it is usually the shortest nap.  Afternoon nap is usually from around 1:30 until 2:15 or 3.  In all honesty though most days he naps 30-40 minutes tops and since he is go go go all day long it proves to be a very long day with this little guy.  

Bruin has four of the basic bottom teeth in and strangely enough he skipped a few and cut a molar.  It just came through this week after a brutal two month long effort.  He has four teeth on top fully in and three more coming in.  This kid hasn't has a break from teething since he was 3 months old and as a result I haven't had a break from the endless crying in just as long.  Teething has been really rough for this little guy.  Daisy was fussy when she teethed but, not nearly as much.  Bruin has literally worn out every ounce of my sanity for days and months on end...just being honest.  The crying would start shortly after waking up and carry on for a good portion of the day.  It has been depressing at times because with all that crying my heart simply didn't get as excited about each day...again, just being honest.  I had anxiety when he would wake up from his naps and the first thing he would do is scream into the monitor.  My head was throbbing most days from all the crying and I even got frequent headaches which is not normal for me.  I'm not recording this to rub it in Bruin's face when he is older because he has a valid reason to be unhappy and I know it will pass but, I am sharing this to encourage some other Momma who is worn so terribly thin by all the screaming of her little one, that it will get better in time.  

We've had two better than usual days recently.  I am chalking it up to the fact that his molar is in and thus we are getting a tiny break before the next storm.  Of course I would love if this is the new norm but, I am not betting on it.  But, these two happier days with my son have been so healing.  I desperately needed to laugh, cuddle, smile, kiss and enjoy his company a bit more and we have gotten lots of that. Bruin enjoyed exploring the house a bit more on his own and laughed so much at his big sister.  It has been a treat and has reminded me that I am not crazy and yah, it really has been that bad...because this is a whole lot easier!  My head feels clearer and my heart feels light once again.  Thank you Jesus for a little reprieve for both me and my son.  

I have a whole lot more compassion for all of the folks who have traveled this road before me! 

One of the things that has helped me to get through this more exhausting season with my precious son is praying for him and myself.  With all of the crying, I found myself worrying.  Worrying is so draining!  "What is wrong with him?  I'm doing everything I can and it doesn't seem to help him.  I feel like a failure with this little guy.  I want to cherish this sweet season but, my brain is screaming hurry up time..I'm ready for a new season!  He cries so much that I can't tend to his big sister like I want to.  I feel like I am neglecting her but, what other options do I have here?  I wish my Mommy was here!"  I have spent so many moments on my knees in prayer while my son was napping.  I cried out my worries, my fears and my weariness to God and each time, I kid you not, my mind and body were flooded with a restful feeling.  I have spent so many moments praying for God to comfort my son, give his mind peace and his body relief from any pain he has been feeling and I know God has answered those prayers.  Prayer is so wonderful.  God is so good.  

When Bruin is happy and pain free, he is the most charming, heart melting, little prince.  You may recall that I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a son and of course now I can't imagine not having a son.  I adore my son.  I love his squishy cheeks, his priceless giggle, his chubby body, his sweet brown eyes (I'm a sucker for those brown eyes!), his fluffy blonde hair that is growing like a weed, his adorable sounds and noises, his sleepy eyes that turn a bit red around the rims when he gets too tired, his shrill scream that is reserved especially for his big sister, the way he lays his head on my shoulder when he is scared, excited or tired, the way he puts his fingers in my mouth when he is nursing, the way he flaps his legs wildly when I am holding him and he gets excited, the way he throws toys with incredible force, the sweetest bye bye wave that he gives Daddy each morning and the dozens of facial expressions that he gives me every day.  I am completely smitten...even if he has been a tough cookie for most of his short life.  (hehe)

Bruin prefers playing with anything that is not a toy.  He likes to get into the fridge and freezer.  He plays in the pantry and in the bathroom drawers.  He wants to get into the shower so badly but, that is one space that is a no play zone.  He has found my bookshelves and I have allowed him to destroy one of the shelves in hopes that it would get the books out of his system and so far it has worked! Score.  He likes to see new places but, mostly he likes to get out and explore the leaves, the dirt, sticks, bugs etc.  he loves crawling around or pulling himself up on low walls.  Last night we went to Grandad's 80th birthday dinner and I spent about 20 minutes sitting outside with Bruin on the wet wall while he stood and played with every tiny leaf he could find.  He got quite dirty and it just seemed fitting for a little boy to be playing in nature and getting dirty:). I enjoyed letting him explore and loved watching his little face as he observed everything around him.  Priceless. 

Bruin would fall and get hurt a lot at this point if I didn't somewhat monitor him and what he pulls up on.  He pulls up and then often loses his grip in either his hands or feet and smacks his face really hard on whatever service is around him.  Carpet is no big deal but, there are so many deadly corners and hard pieces of furniture.  This is one of those high maintenance phases with a kiddo.  Gotta watch them like a hawk and mostly just to keep them alive! lol.  Bruin loves standing and has preferred it to crawling since he was quite little.  Now he pulls himself up and stands without holding on to anything for a couple of minutes.  His balance has gotten so much better.  I would say that he will be walking sometime in the next month or two but, you never know.  Babies can be so funny about when they start walking. He loves walking around slowly while pushing either his giraffe with wheels or Daisy's old pink car.  He is getting better and better at it.  I love how proud he gets of himself when we clap for him and he turns to look back and get our approval.  Love this little boy so much.

Bruin loves to grunt and if I grunt back he will go back and forth making the sounds with me.  I've always adored this because he sounds like a little bear cub.

It took a long time for Bruin to appreciate physical touch like people touching his hands (he is still not  a big fan but, he tolerates it much better) or giving kisses.  Now when I ask for a kiss he holds perfectly still and waits for it.  I think he likes kisses even if he doesn't quite get it yet:).  I need to get a little video of him "giving kisses," but, it's more like getting kisses.  lol

Bruin is very attached to me which is to be expected when he is with me 24/7.  He tolerates Daddy for short outings but, before too long he wants his momma and he starts getting fussy for Daddy.  For anyone else he would be in meltdown mode the entire time I was away.  Daisy was the same way so I was pretty much expecting this.  Another phase in the endless sea of phases with kiddos.

I try to get out of the house for a little bit after each morning nap as that is Bruin's best window.  I run errands with him or go to play dates and he does really well from around 11-1.  Then he is ready for lunch and bed.  I took him to Target today to get some birthday presents for friends and he did really well so long as I kept shoving baby puff crackers in his mouth.  He ate half of the container of puffs before I left the store.  We were probably there for about 20 or 30 minutes tops.  I thought I would be embarrassed to let my kiddo eat a snack in the store when I was a Mom but, I am the biggest fan.  Whatever makes the kid happy and keeps them quiet, DO IT.  Simplify and minimize stress....

Bruin loves when I hold  him facing forward and we run around the house chasing after Daisy.  He squeals with delight and his legs kick wildly.  He also loves when Daddy comes up for a tickle while I am holding Bruin.  Bruin burries his face in my shirt and giggles and tugs on his ears while Daddy tickles his sides.  He always tugs on his ears when he is getting a tickle.

Going to church has been difficult with Bruin.  his nap is smack dab in the middle of the first service and if he doesn't it the entire day becomes even more difficult and to top it off I have to sit in the nursery with him because he cries too much at this point and it is just easier for me to stay in and help.  It just proves to be a very long day.  It will get a bit easier when he no longer needs the early morning nap but, that won't be a for a while.  So for the time being we make it when we can otherwise we watch a sermon online at home.

I have been SO busy with this little guy that this is yet another unfinished post but, once again I want to post what I have so that when I print this blog I will have the monthly updates...incomplete or not:).  

The Initial Adustment to Life With Two

I am sure that the adjustment from one to two kids is different for every Mom and probably easier for some than others.  I think that I am adjusting in some ways better than I expected so yeah me, on the other hand, the more challenging areas for me have been much tougher than I imagined.  

I realize that for all of you who have two or more kiddos already, that this is old news and I know that someday it will be for me also.  This post is more for the Mom who is on Google searching for information on starting her journey with two kids as she is pregnant with her second and curious about the upcoming transition.  This post is also for the mom who just had her second kiddo (like me) and she is wondering if anyone else can relate to what she is going through.  Maybe she feels like pulling her hair out or crying all day...I was in that place the first couple of months and especially after the hubby went back to work:).  Maybe we have some things in common.  I hope it is encouraging just to know that you are not alone in this transition!  

I wrote this post originally when my son was only about a month old and now I am rewriting it when he is 4.5 moths old because so much has changed already.  Overall I would say that the changes have been mostly positive so that is encouraging I hope.  This season is just one of the MANY seasons in life that I have come to realize takes time to adjust to, fall in to, accept, understand and find peace in.  No one feels warm immediately upon being thrown into a cold pool but, if you swim around a lot and for a while, you begin to adjust to the temperature.  So, that being said, prepare to give this season a good amount of time and soon enough you will warm up to it all.  That's not to say that it will all be easy but, just that you will feel more confident in your routine because you will know how to best manage your day with your newest addition with the aide of time and through trial and error. 

  In all honesty, I was feeling super overwhelmed the first 2 months after my son was born.  A big reason for that was that I had an unplanned c-section and a really rough recovery. I wasn't able to do much for the first 2 months and that was awful for me.  After delivering my daughter, (my first born) I was up and cleaning house the day I came home from the hospital.  Not that I had to do housecleaning but, I wanted to, I could and it felt great!  I had so much energy after having my daughter and I never dealt with any postpartum blues etc.  After having my son, I didn't know how I would ever get out of the house with the two kids alone at first and it really gave me a great deal of anxiety when an appointment came up or if someone wanted me to go somewhere.   But, with each outing my confidence grew and though it isn't easy (not easy at all...sorry but, it just isn't as easy as life with one kiddo...not even close, lol.) to shop with 2 kids, I can do it now.

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The one thing that I want to encourage all Moms adjusting to a new little one is please give yourself time and try not to cave in to the pressure to go-go-go, if you don't feel quite ready yet.  Your busy life will resume when it is meant to, that I can assure you.  If I had listened to everyone that was telling me that I needed to get out right away and that it was "what was best for me," I would have been even more of a wreck.  Please accept grace and rest in it.  Rest whenever you can and take it easy. There is plenty of time for rushing later.  Adding another little human to your family can be very exhausting and you will need all the r&r that you can get!   

 I actually survived 7 days alone with my husband out of town on a business trip when my son was 3 months old and my daughter came down with a severe stomach virus the day after he left.  Horrible timing and I think I did over 25 loads of laundry that week.  Seriously, I felt like SUPER WOMAN after that time on my own with the two kiddos.  It was craziness.  One of the most exhausting weeks ever!  

 That may have even been the week that I realized I was so much stronger than I thought I was and so much more capable then I ever knew.  When we Mom's need to rise to the occasion, we do just that,  We rise. 

 The first few months with a baby are all about figuring that tiny person out, learning their personality, their schedule and getting settled.  Figuring all that stuff out takes time.  Learning what a baby likes and doesn't like, takes time and just when you think you've got them figured out they go and cut a tooth or grow an inch and get all grumpy again.  Tis the way of life with a wee one.  As you already know from your first round...patience is probably one of the most important tools in every aspect of parenting. 

Now at almost five months my kiddo has pretty much created his own sleep/nap routine all on his own.  It feels good to know what he needs to be happier and more content.  I am able to plan my days with a lot more ease...more or less.  It's never going to be a perfect science with a baby of course but, it really does begin to fall in to place a bit with time.  Thank you sweet Jesus for that!  

   

1. The Emotional Adjustment

Simply put, learning to let go of what was and how to adjust to what is...is not as easy as you think!

For at least a few months after my son was born I was struggling a lot in this area.

 I missed all of the quality time that I got to spend with my daughter before Bruin was born.  I missed the energy that I had just for her.  I can't emphasize that enough.  I had nearly 5 years with just her and I knew having another kiddo would be a big change but, I didn't realize how much I would miss all of the one on one time I had with my her.  My heart actually ached deeply for her.  It was depressing...not gonna lie.  I held it together on the outside but, inside I felt a lot of sadness...I'm sure that my postpartum blues and the traumatic delivery weren't helping things for me.  What made it even harder was that my daughter had a bit of a tough time adjusting to the changes that came along with her baby brother for about 3 weeks as well.  Now five months in things are a lot better overall but, I still miss being able to do more with my daughter.  We baked, crafted, cuddled in bed on Saturday mornings, went shopping together etc.  I can do some of these things with her of course but, not nearly as often and certainly not every day.  I am still learning to adjust in this area but, we have come a long way in five months so I am thankful for that.  

I miss sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed and in a generally good mood.  I missed feeling okay physically.  The c-section was a doozy for me and really took me out of commission for close to 3 months.  That was SO unexpected and thus it was so much harder for me to adjust to because I wasn't remotely prepared for it.  I used to hold my daughter often and carry her a lot but, after the c-section I couldn't and it actually broke my heart because it was just another thing that distanced us when I wanted to feel closer.  I didn't have the energy to tuck her in at night so Daddy took over and I missed that too.  I wasn't able to drive her to school in the morning because I wasn't allowed to drive on the meds for a few weeks so Daddy took over the morning drives.  I missed that as well.  There was just so much change in such a short amount of time and though I can adjust to moderate levels of change, this was more than I was able to process all at once I guess?  

This is another area that some people adjust to faster than others I'm sure.  I'm a slow adjuster...what can I say. 

FACT #1:  Being exhausted can make even simple life challenges harder for anyone to handle. Fact #2 Infants are EXHAUSTING!!  I've decided that it doesn't matter how "good" your newborn/infant might be...a baby is still a baby and a baby is just plain hard (good?) work any way you slice it. 
I'm so so so so so so so so so so tired.....zzzzzz....

Then there are the new levels of guilt.  Am I spending enough time with my baby?  Does he feel loved?  Does my daughter (my older kiddo) think that I love the baby more than her?  I didn't do tummy time today..or this week? Have I failed as a parent, why yes I have...how sad! haha What can I do with my extremely limited time and energy to make my daughter feel extra special today?  She said she doesn't like me like ten times today right, I probably deserve that.   My house is a mess! I feel like a crazy person when I look at this disaster!! I wonder if my husband thinks that all I do is watch soap operas all day??  Sigh. Will I ever be able to make my husband a dinner again?  Why is it so hard to take a shower..or get dressed?  My toe nail polish is so chipped...I guess I'll need to wear shoes all summer...sigh.  I'm so tired but, I need to pretend that I have energy so that people won't worry about me.  My infant son hasn't taken a bath in 7 days...Lord have mercy, social services will probably be knocking on my door tonight!  My daughter ate a doughnut for breakfast...and dinner. Why can't I get it together?

Just say NO to mom guilt!  It's a nasty little trick of the enemy to break a Mom's spirit and joy.  Whenever those little guilt trip thoughts pop up in my head, I quickly battle them off with a prayer of truth about who I am in Christ.  It's not to say that this is always an immediate fix but, it is a great habit to get in to.  It's a practice of battling the negativity that guilt creates with the positivity that Christ fills us up with. And for me it is something that I MUST practice daily...lemme tell yah.

It was also hard to see my daughter feeling angry, sad or even mildly jealous after her brother came home.  She did an amazing job of holding it together and she never took it out on him which surprised me.  She took it out on me and Daddy mostly which is understandable.  She was more defiant.  She slammed her door more.  She seemed a bit cold and distant on occasion and she was very vocal about her dislike for us when she was mad.  It hurt a lot but, I reminded myself that it wasn't personal and that it was just her way of adjusting to things being so different.  She missed me too!

The key for us was to continually love on her as much and as often as we could.  We also involved her in diaper changes, baths etc...though she seems to have quickly bored of those things and no longer seems interested in participating.  I also made a point to include her in the baby chats I was having with my son.  I would also tell Bruin to wait his "turn" if Daisy was talking.  This helped her to feel like she was important and that the baby didn't always come before her.  Still, this area has been a work in progress and there have been days where Daisy has whined and said, "you like Bruin more than me," which especially stings when it comes on the heels of playing a game with her for an hour while he napped instead of squeezing in a nap for myself.  There really is no way of getting around it I suppose.  She is so much older so she thinks more and observes more.  If your kids are closer in age and younger they may not even be all that interested in the new baby you have brought home.  They may not even notice the attention you have to give your wee one.  Daisy is 100% engaged and aware of my every move.  She is my little shadow and mini-me.  She is always hungry for my undivided attention.  

 I will say that after almost 5 months, Daisy seems to be much more comfortable with our routine and I would say that overall she appears to feel content in her new relationship as big sister and no longer an only child.  We definitely have moments where I catch her staring at me when I am talking to Bruin while he sits in my lap and I see the need in her eyes for validation.  I try to affirm her as often as I can but, we win some days, we lose some days.  At least I can say we have improved in this area A TON in five months. Once again, it took time for her to accept the changes but, she slowly got on board.

I have also made a point to go on a few dates when I can with my daughter.  We both LOVE our dates together.  We've gone to ice cream a few times or just to grab groceries alone together.  I also took her with me to the salon when I got my hair done.  She had never been to a salon and I gave her a tour and let her sit in my lap and talk with the stylists.  She had a great time! Then we went next door to grab lunch and we laughed our heads off together.  I give her my undivided attention during these special outings and I can tell that it really makes her feel extra special.  In fact when I went to Mother's Day Tea at Daisy's school she had written that her dates with me were her favorite thing to do with me.  That really blessed me to hear.  It also makes me feel better to get this quality time in with her...honestly I'm not sure who it helps more.  I come away from those outings feeling very connected to my daughter and I can tell that she feels the same.  I hope we will get more of these special dates once I am done nursing.  Sometimes I think that we need to be purposeful about dating our kids in the same way we need to try and date our spouses when we can.  It's amazing how much a little break from the routine can freshen a connection and strengthen a bond between child or spouse! 

Other areas of transition:

Sleep - OMG

Hey, maybe your baby will sleep great! Maybe your baby will sleep through the night from day one.  Maybe all of your kids will sleep awesome and you will have the life I can only dream about...well, actually I won't be able to dream about it BECAUSE I NEVER SLEEP...and if you do happen to be so lucky then please...just please...don't tell me about it. And I don't even think we should be friends.  Your peppiness will drain me and your glorious stories of awesome sleeping babies will depress me.  HAHA...totally kidding but, seriously. I'm SO TIRED. Sigh.  I've tried all the tricks and taken all the boat loads of advice.  Nope.  He still likes to get up at least 6-8 times a night or so and he generally likes to nurse 4 of those times at least.  I know that he will get there but, it is going to take time by the looks of it.  That being said I have had to adjust to extremely inconsistent nights but, consistently about 3 hours of broken sleep tops on average.  It's ROUGH.  I like to sleep.  Scratch that, I LOVE to sleep and getting 45 minutes at a time is just not my thing.  Still, the body has an incredible way of adapting and mine has managed to adapt overall but, it doesn't change the fact that I do feel very run down most of the time.

I dream while I am awake about what it will be like to hopefully feel more rested again when I wake up someday.  lol.  I am trying to wean my little guy from wanting to nurse so much at night but, it ends up being a very long middle of the night scream fest every night so I'm fried.  Being tired effects EVERYTHING else in the next day.  Patience is hard enough to maintain as a parent on a good night's sleep but, without sleep...holy moly it becomes a supernatural thing I tell yeah.  Entertaining my highly energetic five year old all day every day, while also tending to my fussy 4 month old is exhausting but, I have found that if I keep busy I actually get through the day better.  It's when I get too stationary at home that I start to realize just how tired I am and my mood wants to go downhill from there.  So, I tend to be a busy bee until bedtime.  I think I have gotten 3 naps since my son was born!! JUST 3 and they weren't any longer than 20 minutes at best.  Yes that is craziness.  I'm shocked just reading that.  Now that my daughter is past the napping phase I no longer have the luxury of napping when my baby naps.  I miss that a lot.

Because I am unable to get a nap, I force myself to go to bed early which is not fun or easy.  I so badly want to stay up late and get some quiet time or spouse time in before bed but, if I do that I risk losing the only 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep that I might get all night.  Most nights I have to  close my eyes by 9 at the latest.

If you are like me and you need a lot of sleep, then this may also be a tricky area of transition for you.

Having two kids is definitely more tiring than having one...for me.  But, if your baby sleeps great this won't be as much of an issue for you. Yay! 

Getting Two Kids and Myself Ready to go Out...Fuggedaboutit.

We really had the whole one kid thing down pretty well for the most part.  We had a great routine and we were generally on time for things....yah, I just want everyone who ever invites us to anything to know right now, that's never going to happen again. HA!  For the record, I love being on time for things and it is important to me...but, I've decided to let that expectation go.  Gone.  Buh-bye.

Why is it so hard to get out of the dang house with kids?  Oh yah, because every single time I touch the door knob to leave I remember something else that I have forgotten...the sippy cup, the water bottle, the diaper bag, the pacifier, my sweater, my glasses, the keys, her baby doll, the lunch box, his blanket, the toys, my bible, my purse, my shoes, her snack and so on.  And if it isn't one of those endless things it's the kids needing something. "I have to go potty! Did you get my bag? Can you bring me some animal crackers? Or maybe just as I get all of my ducks in a row my baby spits up on my shirt for the fifth time that morning and I simply cannot wear it with that many layers of stench.  Then I have to change and that can be a whole other long and drawn out process these days because I pretty much loathe everything in my wardrobe.  This post partum body isn't quite rocking the skinny pants or the form fitted tees yet. lol Or maybe you hear the sound of a lovely poop explosion in your infants drawers and you see it rapidly leaking out of his onesie and onto your blouse...yup, all the time. So yah, with each kiddo we have added to our family, our punctuality has gone more and more down the toilet.  Sorry friends!  Having low expectations in this area is a good thing!

I try to plan short outings and I try to plan for them to be difficult, so that I am not surprised or  upset when things go awry.  Bruin often starts crying in the middle of my short shopping trip and I have to take him out of the carseat or stroller and hold him with one arm, while pushing the stroller with my hip or one free arm.  It's tricky but, I've managed.  Sometimes I will stick him in the sling/bjorn but he isn't a big fan yet so that doesn't always solve the screaming problem.  I have about a one hour window of good outing time before I have to stop and tend to the baby for a diaper change, feeding, or position change.  It's not nearly as easy with two as it was with one...not even close but, I am thankful that Daisy is older and pretty independent at this point.  That has been a blessing.

I love when I am in the middle of my grocery trip with a full cart and a sleeping baby lodged between groceries in the cart and suddenly, Daisy grabs  her legs and with wide eyes, "Mom I have to go pee really bad!!!" EVERY TIME.  Then I have to haul booty to the bathroom on the other side of the store and help her go potty while leaving my cart somewhere and taking Bruin and his carseat out of the cart...which wakes him up and inevitably starts him crying earlier.  Especially when the toilet flushes or someone puts there hands under those jet engine hand driers...gahhhhhhh....can't you see my baby is sleeping people???  It's fun I tell yah.  BUT, it's life and we mom's all manage to get through it.  I still have my red super mom cape on back order but, I can't wait for it to arrive.  I plan on wearing it everyday.

Nursing 

I don't mind nursing overall.  I'm thankful that I am able to nurse as it saves money and is often easier than having to prepare a bottle...each time my son wakes up at night for instance, and it really is a sweet bonding experience.  On the other hand, It was a lot easier to nurse  my daughter overall because I was working from home at the time and I could just sit in a chair and nurse her when needed.  No problem.

 Now that I am out on the go a lot more it has become a lot harder for me to enjoy nursing.  I am not a Mom who will ever be comfortable busting my top off in public to nurse or even nursing in a group of people with a cover for that matter.  My babies tend to kick the cover off and leave me all like, "hello world, take a look at my boobs!" Not my idea of a good time but, to each his own.  I know plenty of mommys who are super comfortable nursing publicly.  Power to yah Moms!

 I like nursing in quiet rooms or in private spaces.  That's just the way I am.  I have found that the back seat of my van has become my nursing station when I am on the go and it is working out well overall.  Still, it's hard to plan outings around a 2.5 to 3 hour nursing schedule.  If I was bottle feeding I could just pop a bottle in my kiddos mouth while I was shopping and it would probably make things easier but, I am just not ready to do that yet.  I have appointments to be at and I have to pick my daughter up from school and I can't always arrange those things around a nursing schedule so it's tough.  Sometimes I have to feed my kiddo early all day just to make it to appointments without him screaming during my checkup or while we wait in carpool for 30 minutes. All that to say that because I do like my privacy, nursing is harder now that I am on the go all the time but, I am managing and for that I am pretty dang proud of myself! Not sure how long I will nurse, or maybe my son will call that shot and wean off but, for now I will keep chugging. lol

Also because I exclusively nurse, this has put a temporary end to my girl's nights, or solo outings or even easy date nights.  I pretty much have my little guy glued to me until I stop nursing or until I also do bottles.  This isn't an easy sacrifice for me but, again, it's temporary.  In the overall big picture...I'm very thankful that I am able to nurse and if I get to nurse for a year or close to it I won't regret it.  And let's face it...it's a helpful weight loss tool after pregnancy!  I'm very thankful for that as I gained a lot of weight with Bruin.

 I am not sure if Bruin is our last kiddo or not but, in case he is I really want to savor this time with him to the best of my ability even if it is an added challenge.  I won't ever get this time back!  

Slim to none - "free or quiet time" 

Obviously, once a kiddo comes into the picture for a family, free time becomes almost non-existent for a Mother unless that kiddo is napping.  Daisy has been in preschool for the past two years so I could count on a couple of hours each morning to get things done or just have some quiet time which I truly treasured.  I LOVE quiet time.  Quiet time in my peaceful home is what fuels my introvert spirit. Now I have zero quiet time...unless you count those middle of the night nursing sessions...which are pretty quiet but, my brain isn't functioning enough to appreciate the "free time."  The baby is awake when my older kiddo is at school and takes his naps when she is home and when she is home she is a non-stop ball of energy.  That being said, if you are like me and enjoy those quiet nap or school breaks with your one kiddo it might be wise to expect that you may not have those breaks with two kiddos...at least not for a little while until you get a good routine going and figure out how to carve that time into your new system.  I think this has been a tough area for me to adjust to.  I'm looking forward to when Bruin takes a more consistent and hopefully longer morning nap and hopefully it will happen while Daisy is at school so I can once again enjoy a little quiet time!

With one kiddo, I got in the habit of cleaning the house and grocery shopping when my daughter was at school.  I get SO much more done when I am not cleaning up old messes while attempting to clean up the new ones that are being made! lol  I love having a somewhat clean home.  My brain feels more peaceful when my home is less cluttered and messy.  Obviously with kids I have had to learn to tolerate my home with more messes but, it hasn't been easy for me.  This is an area that I am sure is easier for some women than others depending on your level of need for tidiness.

 I am continuing to accept that I won't ever be on top of it all anymore.  There will never be an end to the laundry, dishes, bills to pay, errands to run, packages to ship, school demands to meet, etc.  It seems to be more about learning to find the peace in the chaos these days. Something that will take me a life time to balance I'm sure.

So SO SO much busier:

It is so hard to find the time to do much of anything it seems like.  Laundry takes me three days and while I am working hard on that the rest of the universe is usually falling apart around me.  Then, when I finally finish laundry I spend a day doing bills...because I get interrupted like every 1.5 minutes. Everything takes so much longer. More appointments, more shuttling around in the car everyday, more rushing. I put my lunch in the microwave (cuz that is all I have time for) and then the baby starts screaming or blows out his diaper or wakes up from his nap.  Then I forget about the lunch all together and wonder why I am starving three hours later.

 Yup, life is busy and with each kiddo added, it gets a little busier.  More adjusting required.  I'm trying to figure out how to come to terms with the fact that there is only one me and that the household tasks will never be done.  I have to do what I can do and let the rest lie.  I have to learn to let it all wait so that I can be present with my kids as well.  Being present is very important to me.

Marriage Quality time? What's that Pshh? -  Nursing around the clock makes it hard to get away with a hubby as does not having a reliable sitter. Sleeping zero hours a night also means that I pretty much need to go to bed when the kids go to bed at night. I have no choice really.  I literally fall into a delirious heap most days as soon as the kiddos are both in bed.  I am a true zombie at this point.  My hubby has been super gracious and understanding.  We have managed to watch some shows in the evening here and there but, I pretty much have to crash by 9 at the latest if I want to survive the next day.  I definitely look forward to the day that I get a little more consistent sleep so that I can stay up more often with my hubby and have more quality time.  This is one of those areas of adjustment that is temporary and requires a lot of give and take. We experienced this for about the first year of life with our daughter and as a result we haven't been surprised by our exhaustion this time around.

HUBBY HELPS!

So, these are just a handful of the changes that we have worked through over the past five months.  There are other areas but, these are the things that influenced me the most.  I will say that my hubby has continued to take my daughter to school in the morning and I am SO SO thankful for that.  Her school is on the way to his work and it is about a 20-30 minute drive each way for us.  It lands smack dab during Bruin's first early morning nap.  I would have to take him out of his crib to run out the door each morning as so many moms do.  I am so glad that I don't have to do that!  My hubby has also taken on a grocery trip once a week and any extra little errand trips that pop up at the last minute.  I write the list and meal plan as best I can and he shops and it's another area that he has stepped up in that has been HUGE and SO appreciated.  I think this has been a big change in our marriage as well...more give and take and more sharing of responsibilities.  Team work is essential in family life that is for sure!

It's ALL WORTH IT, of course! 

I have absolutely loved watching Daisy step into her role as big sister with so much love and grace.  She is so gentle and nurturing with her big brother.  It's as if she has always been a big sister and I can hardly imagine her any other way now.  She seems so much older...as if a few short months have made her more independent and mature.   Makes me a little sad to see her "growing up overnight" so to speak but, it was time I suppose.  She no longer thinks just about herself but, instead she is always thinking about her life with a brother in it.  She talks about her future plans and her brother is always a part of her dreams.  I love that! Now my daughter has a somebody and that makes me so happy.

I've also notice that Daisy has naturally fallen into an understanding of our routine.  She gets that I have to nurse and change Bruin.  She is more patient now and she asks a little less of me because she knows that she would have to wait for what she wants if I am busy.  She is learning to do more for herself and I am not having to teach her.  Our new circumstances are teaching her all on their own which is a blessing.  

Daisy is also very helpful.  She gets Bruin pacifiers when he cries, blankets when he is cold, turns on fans for him to look at.  I marvel at her thoughtfulness actually.  She loves to be near her brother and to hold and kiss him.  She is rarely rough though it can happen on occasion and I just have to remind her to be gentle.  I will say that the novelty of a baby has worn off.  Daisy was obsessed with babies before Bruin was born and like most other children who have siblings, I am realizing that she is less fascinated and enthralled with the whole baby thing now.  She now wants to do other things and play on her own.  I'm a little sad to see the intensity of her love for babies fading but, I guess it's also a natural and healthy thing. It's a bit more in balance now I suppose.

I realized today that I hold Daisy SO much less than I did before Bruin was born.  She used to whine and ask me to hold her all the time when she was an only kiddo.  Evidently she just learned all on her own that she can't be held as often anymore and she even seems to find it a bit strange when I want to pick her up now.  See, so much change in such a short amount of time! Tugs on the ol' heart strings. 

I love having a son. I never thought I would have a son but, I do and it's so awesome.  I'm enjoying blue...we have SO much pink over here.  I'm enjoying the boy toys and the boy conversations.  I love the balance that my son has brought into our lives.  I'm so thankful for him.  He is noisy and strong!  Boys are so different and I am enjoying the adventure of a little man in the making.  Having two kids has made life much more complicated and so much more beautiful...so messy and beautiful.  There is just something about the things in life that are often challenging...they are often the best things too.   Kids are like that for sure.

It's also awesome to see my husband hanging out with his son.  Pretty cool to see a Daddy and his little boy.  I can only imagine the adventures they will go on together someday very soon.  My two fishermen perhaps?  Every time Bruin sees Daddy or hears his voice even from another room he crams his neck around until he finds him.  When he makes eye contact with Daddy his face lights up and he quickly turns his head the other way in his bashfullness.  He does this over and over again.  It is SO cute.  I think we have a little Daddy's boy on our hands.  

So, overall the transition was a tough one for me and continues to be a challenge in some ways because my baby doesn't sleep much and I am so worn out most days. More importantly though, I love that my family has grown to four and I love that my daughter has a sibling to grow up with. I love that we have more laughter, more adventure and more surprises ahead of us in life.  This chapter has been hard, but it's worth it!  It was the desire of my heart for so long to have another kiddo and now he is here. God is faithful.  

I would love to hear your thoughts on life with two kiddos and how the adjustment was for you.  What were the challenges you faced and how did you work through them?