Thursday, February 19, 2015

2 Months and Counting

This is one of the many monthly posts I will write on Bruin with all of his oh so important updates.  It will be incredibly long winded...a post that only a mother could love most likely. hehe.


At two months old, Bruin is wearing size 2 diapers and size 3-6 month clothes.  I have a feeling he is going to be wearing all 6 months very soon because he just keeps growing at such a rapid rate!

We just had his two month appointment this past Friday and he weighed 13 pounds 12 ounces and was 24 inches long!  Yup, big boy but, in an average weight gain percentile still.  He has grown quite a bit in 10 weeks.

 He also had to get 3 shots and take one oral vaccination and that was awful for both of us.  I loathe shot days:(.  Yes, I am a super sensitive and in fact I can't even watch shots being administered to myself or anyone else or I get incredibly dizzy and queasy.  It's annoying but, I've been that way since I was little.

I nursed him as soon as it was all over and then he conked out from all the "excitement." Other than the shots, he did great and seemed to enjoy checking out the doctor's office while we were waiting to be seen.  Unfortunately, he seemed to become extremely fussy for a handful of days after the appointment so I think that all of the shots messed him up a bit which would be understandable.

(love this cute little wink face:)

Bruin has finally started smiling a whole lot more over the past few weeks or so.  I've been waiting with great anticipation for this day.  It's like I'm falling in love with him all over again:).  Every smile, coo and gurgle turns my Mommy heart to mush. I can't emphasize enough how much I LOVE seeing this little guy smile.  LOVE. LOVE.  Isn't it amazing that someone so tiny and a gesture so simple, can warm any heart and brighten any day.  God is so good to bless us with these little people.  They light up life lemme tell yah.

I will say that he seems to be a bit more on the serious side at this point.  His happy times are very short lived so I definitely have to soak them up quickly. lol.  I may get about 20 minutes of peace and happy chatter out of him before he goes downhill and wants to be held and soothed for the next hour or two.  He's been a bit fussier than I remember Daisy being but, I also know that a lot of babies are fussy in the first few months of adjustment.  I'm hoping that he grows to be a bit more content and happy in Jesus name. lol  I will say that because we have to wait a while and work a bit harder to get the smiles out of this guy, they are that much more priceless when we do get them!  I completely turn to mush every. single. time. 

Bedtime is still a work in progress but, the good news is that we have made progress and that is enough to make me happy.  Bruin starts getting tired for the night around 7 or 8 each night.  I usually nurse him around that time and let him chill on the couch for another 30 minutes to an hour if he needs it to unwind and by then he is very ready to sleep.  I swaddle him loosely in a light blanket realizing that he will get out of it eventually but, it works better that way.  It helps him to fall into his first deep sleep of the night and then when he is ready to wake up he can fight his way out of it for a while and he is so happy when he gets his arm out that he will often fall back to sleep.  I have a noise machine set to rain in his room and I keep it really dark and he does great with it.  I put him down around 8 or 9 (hoping to get this time earlier eventually) and after that I have to wait for his unpredictable wake up time.  He sometimes wakes up for the first time at 11 and on very special occasions he has made it to 2:30 AM!! He has literally slept in that late only a few times so far and boy it's a huge treat lemme tell yah.  By then I feel so rested I generally want to start my day! lol  Last night he woke up at 11:30 and I nursed him and then laid him back down around 12ish but, he was not ready to go to sleep which is usually the case.  The good news is that I usually only need to go in his room one more time to pat his bum and say, "shhhh," a few dozen times and then I walk out and he kicks and squirms for 30 more minutes and falls asleep by himself.  It's been okay overall.  Then he wakes up again anytime between 3-5 depending on when his previous wake up was.  I usually try not to feed him at this wake up.  Instead I stick him in the swing which is near where I sleep and he konks out for another 2 hours or so. Then he wakes up again between 5-7 depending on the previous wake up and I generally do nurse him then and if it is really early still, I let him fall asleep on me until Daisy wakes up around 7.  Around 7 or 8, I nurse him again and he sometimes wants to go back to sleep but, other times he is wide awake until 9 or so.  We don't have a perfect system yet but, I am totally okay with that.  I know all of the tricks that are supposed to help a baby to sleep better in case you are eager to give me advice hehe...they do not work with my kiddo, sorry folks.  Some babies just don't sleep great.  Can I get an amen from all of you mommas who have struggled through many a late night with your precious babies in spite of trying everything!  Yes, I am exhausted and I look forward to a time when I get a full 8-10 hours of sleep at night but, it is going to be a while.  So, for now, I pray much more frequently for extra strength, drink more coffee and do my very best to make the most of this super short season with my son.  This too shall pass.

(he does not like wearing hats but, I think they look SO SO cute on him!:)

I feel like he is actually off to a better start with his sleeping than Daisy was at this age believe it or not.  He really likes to sleep for the most part and he seems much more content to put himself to sleep during the day.  I had to rock Daisy to sleep and it took SO long as she was always SO wound up and never wanted to sleep...I would say that she is still that way.  Just like her Daddy. lol.

I also tend to let Bruin use his pacifier during the day when he really needs it but, at night I kind of sneak it out after he falls asleep.  This has totally taken care of the night time issue of having to give it back to him.  He gets used to sleeping without it and then when he wakes up he isn't looking for it.  If we can keep going like this I will be SO happy.  We were going into Daisy's room 10+ times a night to give her the pacifier every time it fell out just to get her back to sleep.  Bruin may not need it at all and I would be okay with that if it means that we will get a little more sleep...someday.

(It looks like we are going to have another brown eyed kiddo in the fam.  I sure love those dark brown eyes so it's fine by me..though I do wonder if I will ever birth a child that looks even a little bit like me?  It's as if my genes are not making it through the physical trait processing center! haha.)

Bruin likes to take a shorter morning nap around 9 or so and it can be 20 minutes or an hour depending on the day.  Then he takes a few other short naps throughout the day that are generally about 20 minutes long.  He seems to really like taking an extra long nap between 12 and 4 or so if it works out.  I let him sleep in the little rocker wherever I am and I try to keep some sort of white noise going at all times to help him stay asleep through the rest of whatever noise might be going on.  He definitely sleeps better through noise but, this is because I have made a point to keep the TV and the microwave fan on almost all day just to keep the house from being too quiet which it often was when Daisy was a baby. I have to pick Daisy up from school Monday through Friday so Bruin seems to be learning to take a longer nap between 12ish and 2 in his carseat.  I'm thankful that he is quiet when we are driving but, I'm bummed that this is the only long nap he takes because I am unable to get a nap when he naps as a result.  Another reason why I am so tired and joyfully-scatterbrained.

(so very loved by his sister and so very surrounded by pink, flowers and all things Frozen.  hehe)

Bruin likes to stare at the ceiling fan uh-lot and the couch is still his favorite spot to chill.  I mean he will literally light up and smile each and every time that I turn the fan on.  As soon as he sees it starting to spin he gets the widest grin on his's as if his lover just walked in to the room or something.  So not fair.  Why won't he look at me like that?  I grew him after all!  hehe

He sure is a sweet Valentine!

He also likes to be moved from spot to spot around the house either on a blanket on the floor or in his rocker so he can get a better view of things.  I do give him about 5 minutes of tummy time 2-3 times a day and he tolerates it a little better than Daisy ever did but, he still doesn't like it and he lasts less than 5 minutes usually.  I would do more tummy time but, I am so often in a hurry, or he has just eaten, or I don't want him to puke....or I just plain don't remember...Finding a good time is tough!  

He doesn't like a lot of things in his face and he definitely gets overstimulated very easily which, I do not remember with Daisy.  Bruin would much rather look at things around the room at this point than to be put under his play mat and in fact he often cries after just a few minutes on the mat.  Daisy could chill under that thing for ever!  I'm sure he will like it more eventually but, at this point, he looks up at the play mat and starts crying when he sees where he is.  He does much better in his crib when I lay him under the mobile.  I can wind it up 2 or 3 times and Bruin will smile and watch it spin around for about 10 minutes or so which is a nice break for me:).

He nurses every 2.5 to 3 hours now and at night I usually only nurse him 1 or 2 times depending on how rough the night is.  He still loves eating and is still a terrible burper (no,  not a word but, I'm just too tired to care lol).  He does have gas issues and I am sure the lack of burps isn't helping his tummy.  I have given him natural gas relief drops.  The drops help a little but, not a ton.  He does spit up but, not nearly as much as Daisy did so that's good.  He still LOVES to eat and I think he would want to eat every hour if I let him! lol  Must be a boy thing.  Days like today and yesterday have been a bit off and he seems to want to eat every 2 hours.  It might be due to the teething or his cold.  Either way, I usually let him nurse on demand and it's going well so I'm thankful for that.  I'm not sure how long I will nurse him at this point as it hasn't been quite as easy to be on the go all the time and nurse but, for now I will go as long as I can!

Another thing that I have noticed is that it appears that he may be cutting his bottom two teeth already.  Crazy!! Now, I am not positive about this but, it sure looks like it and he pops his tongue in and out all day to soothe his gums or at least that is what it looks like to me.  He is bubbling and drooling a ton and rubbing his face and ears like crazy.  He is SUPER fussy lately too.  Sigh.  So, that being said, I would totally understand if that is why he is struggling to stay asleep for long stretches.  Teeth already?? We shall see.  I will keep you all posted.  Daisy was cutting several teeth at 3 months so it is very possible.  It was a long, fussy year with Daisy as she cut almost all of her teeth before she was one!

(look at that poor, miserable teething face! :(

Bruin does alright in the car seat overall.  He seems to just be a little more chill than Daisy was.  Don't get me wrong, he doesn't like the car seat and if he is in it he is usually asleep but, when he wakes up he has yet to scream or freak out.  He tends to look around for a few minutes and then go back to sleep.  Thank you sweet boy for the pleasant drives thus far.  Love you to bits!

(I especially love his chubby cheeks! To die for. Yum.)

I have gotten to the point that getting out with Bruin and Daisy is not quite as scary as it seemed in the beginning.  It's taken me two months to get to this point mind you but, this is just another reminder that all things take time and there is also no need to rush things.  Everything falls in to place when it is meant to.  I'm getting the hang of things and I'm getting there one day at a time.

I was feeling a bit of pressure to rush back into things and I was stressing out because of it initially.   I heard a lot of, "You should be getting out more.  You should go on more dates.  You should do this with your baby or that with your baby.  You should be at church.  You need to do this and you need to do that. It would be good for you."  On top of what I was hearing from others,  I was also feeling the pressure of my own expectations of myself.  Not fun.

I'm sure that all of these kind folks meant well, truly.  The thing is, what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another and what one person needs to do might be completely exhausting and  detrimental to another person's progress.

These are the types of words of encouragement that have been life giving for me in this season.  These are the types of statements that have lifted pressure and not added it.  These are the words that have actually empowered me to overcome and have boosted my confidence.  Thank you encouraging friends!

Just be.  Just breathe.  Just take your time and shake off the constant pressure to go go go all the time.  Refuse to receive the guilt or the burden that world places on your already weary Mom heart and mind.  It's okay if you are like me and you want to relax more at home.  If you take 2 months or 6 to get out of your house with your new baby, I won't be judging you for it.  I get it.  It's all good.  The only thing I hope you receive is grace.  You are doing a great job Momma.  It will all fall in to place when it is meant to.  Hang in there!  You got this! 

The Lord reminded me and needs to constantly remind me, that I will get there (wherever there may be) when I get there and it is not my job to make other people happy or to live up to their expectations.  Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own pace.  I tend to do things a little slower (okay, a lot slower) than some perhaps and I am learning that this is just who I am.  I still have yet to attend a church service since having Bruin and I am honestly not ready for it yet.  I nurse right at the start time for church and even if I bumped the feeding time up or down to attempt to make it to church it would throw off the entire rest of the day.  He also doesn't nap at that time and when he is awake he certainly wouldn't want to chill in the church...he likes to fuss so that would require me to take him out anyways.  I'm not ready to put him in the nursery because he is just too little to leave for my liking.  Anyways, all that to say that I have been watching services online on Sunday mornings and it is a very peaceful time of worship.  Fuel for my introvert spirit! lol.
Of course I look forward to getting back in the game in all areas of my life.
 "I will get there when I get there." 

For now, I strive to cherish the ordinary moments like these, when I am simply sitting and staring at my baby boy's darling feet and admiring his chubby face.  I long to soak up every precious gurgle, smile, coo and frown. He will only be this small for a tiny moment in time.  Why is there always a rush to do this and that or go here and there all the time?  So many folks are so stressed out all the time as a result.  I'm not a fan of the rush or the rat race.

If I knew that today was my last day on Earth, I wouldn't regret a moment spent with my kiddos even though the hours can sometimes(or often) be long and tiring.  Everything else can wait.

If you need me, I will be right here.  This is my happy place.:).

So, that my friends, is my son's two month update in a humongous nutshell!  Stay tuned for next month's equally exciting post! hehe
Sunday, February 15, 2015

Their First Valentine's Together

This is Daisy's first Valentine's Day with a sibling!  So special:).  I had every intention of documenting them together on Valentine's day but, Bruin has been having one heck of a time the past few days.  Instead, I squeezed in a quick valentine picture session, (like 2 minute session) with the two of them today.  I'll admit it felt a bit anticlimactic to do this the day after the holiday had passed.  lol

Anyways, Bruin has a bad cold, he got 3 shots and an oral vaccination on Friday, he is cutting two bottom teeth and drooling like crazy.  Poor guy:( He's miserable and thus he's keeping me on duty 24/7.  It's exhausting around here to say the least BUT, it's all good because these are all temporary circumstances and Bruin will hopefully be feeling better again asap.  It's also all good because I love my kiddos to pieces and I am so grateful that they are happy (generally speaking) and healthy.  It's all good because I serve an awesome God and I am blessed beyond measure.  So yah, no matter what, it's all good:).   

Being that Bruin was not up for pictures at all I am thankful that I managed to get this picture below.  Can you tell that they are siblings?  The eyes, the noses, the face shapes, the smiles...all so similar.  

We do hope you all had a wonderful and very Happy Valentine's Day 2015! We are so thankful for all of our wonderful friends and family.  We love you all! 

I do so adore this picture of Daisy from a few days ago.  I just happened to capture this sweet moment amongst a ton of really goofy, silly shots which I also love.  I hope I find time to edit more of the pictures from these little sessions as I love so many of them.  I can't get over how grown up Daisy looks in this picture.  So mature, so sweet!  

I actually straightened her hair for these pics.  That was only the second time that I have ever done that as I like to let her hair be as it is but, it was neat to see it straight for a change.  Perhaps that is why she looks a bit different?  Anyways,  I will be printing this picture for sure.  My almost 5 year old! 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Pregnancy Snapshots

 This post really serves no purpose other than to share/vomit a large amount of maternity pictures that were either snapped by me or someone else during my pregnancy. All of these images were captured on my cell phone as I seldom break out my nice camera anymore these days.  So sad but, the cell phone is just so much easier.  I know that so many Mom-photographers can relate.  I didn't take nearly as many pictures when I was pregnant with Daisy but, this time around it was fun to document the pregnancy with Daisy beside me!  It was special to be pregnant with the child that would make my daughter a big sister.  That fact alone made this pregnancy very special to me and helped me to weather the challenges with more grace. 

Anyways, if I don't blog these images now, they will disappear onto a hard drive somewhere, never to be seen again most likely. So blog I shall! 

I am glad that we snapped this family picture (below) at the farm this past October.  I was SO uncomfortable at this point.  I had a really bad issue with itching all over my body.  I never knew what would set it off but it was almost a daily battle.  It would start on my stomach and then spread to my legs, back etc.  SO SO uncomfortable...A few times I thought it might drive me completely crazy and I even showered multiple times in one day to try and calm it down but, with no luck.  This particular day at the farm the itching started to kick in but, only at the end of our outing thank goodness.  Otherwise, we had a wonderful time and even made the most of the pouring rain. lol  I seldom ask strangers for a family picture so I am very thankful for this one. 

The rest of the pictures are just random shots capturing our daily life.  I have to share that I am SO happy to not be pregnant anymore.  There, I said it.  As I have said before, being preggo is not something that agrees with me physically or mentally and I always feel so much better once my babies are in my arms and out of my tummy.  I wonder if I will ever miss being pregnant?  Maybe someday.  Who knows:).  I thank God that I have been able to experience pregnancy and I thank God that I have been able to carry healthy babies.  I also thank God that pregnancy is only nine months long and not nine years.  Thank you sweet Jesus! hehe
Barefoot, pregnant and cooking.  I aspire to greatness! 
My belly became a nice pillow for Daisy in the morning. 
My niece fit very nicely on my huge belly
I was HUGE but, I actually felt a tiny bit pretty this particular day.  That was unheard of for me during my pregnancy. lol.  It blows my mind to think that my son was alive and thriving in my belly.  That he could have been born that day and he would have been perfectly healthy.  He was all smashed and curled up inside my womb just waiting for his day.  The miracle of life is to incredible for me to even wrap my head around. 
snuggling my good friend's new baby girl.  She was born just a few weeks before Bruin.  It gave me hope and put some light back in my tunnel to hold a newborn so close to the finish line. I kept telling myself, "okay, I can do this! I am so close!" 
I was absolutely determined to get our tree before my delivery as I had a feeling I wouldn't be up to anything after the baby came.  I think it was a God thing that I felt that way because we had the house completely finished and decorated so pretty and after I ended up having the unplanned C-section I was laid out on the couch next to our beautiful Christmas tree for two weeks.  So thankful that I had a pretty view while I recovered and the tree just so happened to be Bruin's favorite thing to look at for the first 3 weeks of his life too! 
This was my 39 week belly shot if I am recalling correctly.  I felt MASSIVE!  I think I gained about 40 pounds this time.  Thanks Bruin! Good times:)! The good news is that he LOVES to nurse and he has pretty much nursed 90% of it off of me already.  Thanks again Bruin! lol  
A Christmas belly shot with my sister-in-law.  Just days before I was to pop! 
I'm so glad I captured this.  Daisy loved snuggling in my bed with me in the morning and talking to her "brudder." I love that her little mouth is in a pucker as she is mid chatter.  She was so excited to be a big sister and she really has been the most wonderful sister that Bruin could ever have.  
This was my very last night as a mommy of just one kiddo. I snuggled Daisy in bed until she fell asleep because she was a bit wound up and anxious about her brother coming the next day understandably.  Whenever I snuggle with her she always falls right to sleep. 

 It was more heart breaking for me than anything to be honest because I was already so emotional at that point about the day ahead of me.  I couldn't believe that it would never again just be me and her and I don't know if I could have ever been fully ready to give that up. My sweet, precious daughter who I had 4 plus wonderful years with.  The little girl who made me a mommy.  The child whose laughter, cuddles and needs carried me through one of the hardest seasons of my life for three years. My first baby and forever my little girl.  It was a priceless bedtime snuggle that I will cherish in my heart for a lifetime.  
My very last pregnancy captures.  40 weeks and 1 day pregnant!  I was excited! I was a tad anxious.  I remember that I actually felt pretty that morning with my red Christmas nails and my freshly colored hair. Superficial things yes, but, those little things boosted my confidence and helped me feel more ready for the task ahead of me.  Perhaps God knew that I needed the extra boost for the unexpected day ahead of me!  
I know I said it already but, isn't it crazy that a 7 pound 12 ounce baby is all curled up inside my belly.  I cannot stop thinking about how incredible that is.  One second they are inside our bodies, thriving off the nourishment that our bodies provide, living in total darkness and surrounded by warm fluid and the next second (or hours in my case) they are THRUST into, cold rooms with bright lights, extra noise and oxygenated air!  God is so amazing.