I figure that posting a picture of myself provides a nice opportunity to share on a topic that I don't often get to address...image perceptions. My only motivation in wanting a "studio" picture of myself was that I need an updated picture for the bio on my photography page...I strongly dislike the one that is currently up. The hubby helped me out again and snapped a few pictures for me. Thanks hub! It only took 5 minutes of awkwardness thank God. Let me be clear...I do not like seeing myself in pictures. Honestly, I really don't and I am very guilty of nit picking myself to death, though I usually do it discreetly in my head. "Oh man my neck looks funny. My nose looks too big. My chin looks like Jay Leno. Oh dear, my hair is too greasy. My mole has grown!" I know, it's sad and silly but, I do think it is the way that so many women and girls view themselves. (maybe you don't have that issue and if so that is so awesome!!) I'm only sharing these thoughts with you all to be honest and real cuz that's how I roll in my bloggy world if you haven't noticed that by now. lol. It's not easy for me to be on the other side of the camera but, I have been working on it for a couple of years because, I want to continue to heal my heart by facing my fears. I am always working on accepting who I am inside and out and I do think it is a life long journey for most of us. I am definitely much more at peace with who I am now at almost 30 than I ever have been. When I was in my teens and early twenties and had fewer wrinkles, no gray hair, less body fat etc...I was more insecure. Go figure. It's funny because it doesn't matter how "beautiful" a person might be by the world's standards...if they don't feel beautiful inside then they can't see it. Regardless how a person looks on the outside...if they feel beautiful on the inside then they have peace and contentment on the outside. It's amazing how much our thoughts dictate our views. This is why it is so important to train our thoughts to focus on eternal things that heal us and make us whole as opposed to temporal things that make us feel ugly and broken. Oh young girls how I wish I could hug you all and help you embrace who you are and see yourselves the way the King of Kings sees you. Priceless. Beautiful. Unique. Cherished. Dearly loved.
There is something beautiful about aging and embracing who we are and recognizing that what is on the outside is fleeting but, who we are on the inside is what lasts and endures the test of time. I want my heart to be refined and purified by knowing Jesus Christ and learning about how He loves me and views me. Hopefully God's truth will radiate out of my pores well into my 90's. So here is my, "embrace your rapidly approaching 30th birthday," picture! I think it very important to add that this image is edited. I sharpened my eyes, softened my wrinkly skin, removed a big scar on my shoulder and even touched up my toe nail polish. hehe. Now that I am a photographer it is SO much more obvious to me how much editing is done to every image you see in a magazine. People don't just look like that....well, I mean they do but, no one is "flawless." It's an illusion. Trust me. Thanks for letting me share my heart with y'all!