Hello

I'm thankful for a recent picture of me and the kiddos.  I was taking pictures of Bruin for his 1.5 year session and asked my hubby to snap a quick picture of me and the kids.  Such a treat.  I'm also thankful that we were all smiling and no one was faking a thing. Woohoo! It was a good day!   

Today I am answering 50 Questions that are circling the blogsphere for fun. 

50 Questions 

1. Are you a morning or night person? Neither.  I have never, ever, ever enjoyed getting up early and I have never, ever enjoyed staying up much later than 11.  Even as a child I avoided sleep overs because I never had the energy to stay up and chat all hours of the night with the other girls.  I am a 9-7 person, I guess.  
2. Do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?  More often than not I am a salty food lover however; there are certain times of the month that a girl just needs her sweets. Hint, hint.  
3. Ninjas or pirates? Ninjas duh. 
4. Ninjas vs pirates, discuss.   When I think of Pirates I just think of dirty old men that steal and pillage.  Except for Jake and the Never land Pirates.  He's cute and sweet.  Anyways, Ninjas are more like super heroes.  C'mon they are cool.    
5. Autobots or Decepticons?  I'm all about dem Autobots...Love me some Optimist Prime and Bumblebee....
6. What was your favorite childhood television program? I loved a lot of different shows.  I enjoyed McGee and Me, Adventures in Odyseey, Anne of Avonlea (the TV show) and Little House on the Prairie.  Yes, I'm proud to say that I loved each and every one of those shows.  
7. Are you a collector of anything? When I was a child I collected a lot more things than I do now.  I loved Collecting Lisa Frank products, pencils, doll clothes and pretty rocks.  Now as an adult I try not to collect because, I hate clutter but, I do enjoy coffee cups, books, jewelry and journals.
8. If you could be any animal, what would you be? A bird.  I want to soar high up in the sky with the wind under my wings and then dive like an arrow just for the thrill of it. I'm sure I would get eaten by a larger animal or shot by a hunter pretty quickly (LOL) but, I'd enjoy the ride while it lasted.  
9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? I have never been able to answer this because I couldn't settle for just one power.  I want to be Superman...so all of his powers would be awesome thank you.
10. What is usually your first thought when you wake up? "Ok, whew another day.  Here we go. Help me sweet JESUS to be a blessing to my kids and husband and whoever you put in my path today."  
11. What do you usually think about right before falling asleep? I think about way too many things.  It might be about whatever show I just finished watching on TV, it might be about politics and how  much it grieves me....or the state of our world today.  I might be thinking about my kids and wondering how they are doing or my hubby or our marriage.  The last thing I try to think on is a prayer, so that I can let it all go and then go to sleep.  
12. What's your favorite color? I like different colors for different purposes.  I like wearing blue, aqua, black and white a lot.  I like decorating with blue, green, brown, yellow and white.  I also love bright colors for accents around the house.  I love the soft pink in my daughter's room and the soft sea blue/green in my son's room.  My current least favorite color is orange but, next year it could be my favorite.  I am always changing my mind about color.   
13. What's your favorite animal? I would probably have a pet cat if I wanted a pet to take care of which I don't currently.  I also enjoy the birds outside tremendously.  I am definitely a bird lover.   I really enjoy ALL animals but, I am not a big fan of caring for household pets.  
14. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? Only in the Heavenly realm.  Angels are very real as is God and I'm not sure what they look like but, that would definitely qualify as life outside of this planet.  
15. Do you believe in ghosts? No, but, again angels and the spirit world is something I don't understand.  Perhaps people have mistaken angels for ghosts! 
16. Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? I have never been a game junkie but, I have played many, many games in my days.  I loved super mario world and cart as a kid and currently we play Zelda and Wii sports. 
17. If you were given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?  The boring answer...I would invest it and live off interest most likely.  I know how quickly money goes so I try to be cautious when I have it.  But, okay for the sake of blowing cash I would buy a bigger home with a beautiful pool in the backyard.  I'd like a ski boat and the hubby would want a sweet bass fishing boat and a big fancy truck or jeep.  I'd try to convince my family to move near me by offering to by them a house.  I'd love to donate money to different charities that I support and then I'd use the rest to travel the world with my little fam bam.  
18. Have any bad habits? I think my bad habits are more internal...in my head.  I am pretty hard on myself as a Christian, a mother and a person.  I am ever learning how to extend myself the same grace that I try to extend to others.   
19. Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?  Honestly, the bad habits that drive me crazy are people criticizing each other so ruthlessly and thinking they have all their own stuff together....c'mon y'all.  
20. List 3 of your best personality traits:  I love to encourage people and remind people how amazing they really are because I know how much we all need to hear that every single day.  I am a pretty patient person.  I love people...all people, very much.   
21. List 3 of your worst personality traits:  I'm overly sensitive.  I can read too much into something someone says or does which gets my brain on a hamster wheel.  
22. Have any celebrity crushes? Nope.   Of course I am not blind to the fact that there are lots of attractive people in the world but, I aim not to crush on anyone but, the one I've got.  
23. List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: Just one thing?  Ummm....I would love to be less afraid of public speaking.  My fear has held me back from so many opportunities.  I would also love to have longer legs...just being real...I could have listed 10 body things I'd love to change but, I'll just leave it with the legs.  I must add though that the older I get, the less and LESS I care about my body image...it's just getting older, saggier and grayer so I gotta embrace it for what it is.  
24. Any tattoos or piercings?  No tattoos.  I'm not opposed to them at all but, I don't think I ever want to get one.  I have two ear piercings in each ear and that is all.  I like simple.  
25. What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Face.  Are the eyes kind and welcoming and immediately after I notice quickly if they have a warm or cold personality.
26. Whats your dream date? A good dinner out and a movie.  That's it.  Again, I like keeping life simple.  Now if the date was out of this country and in Europe that would be awesome.   
27. What personality traits do you look for in a partner? I was drawn to my husband's extroverted personality, his persistent nature, his adventure spirit and his humor.  
28. What personality traits do you dislike in other people?  Judgemental.  Why do so many people criticize others for the pettiest things when they themselves have so much junk to work on in their own life.  Focus on growing yourself and loving others as they are...period.  
29. Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years? done. check. 
30.  Are you mostly a clean or messy person?  Clean!  I prefer a clean house, clean clothes and a good shower.  I don't mind if other people have messy homes etc. but, as for me and my house...we keep it clean. 
31. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?  Ideally I would like to move to a different place ever 3 years or so.  I would live in Hawaii for a few years, then Europe, then different states in the US, then Italy, then Greece and so on.  That would be so awesome!  Unfortunately, jobs and income don't really allow for that. 
32. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? Maui, Hawaii, Europe, Greece, Italy, Africa, Mexico and pretty much all the islands.  
33. List 5 goals on your life's to-do list: Finish college and get my degree in Psychology. Write my book. Take my kiddos on a missions trip. Travel to a few dream destinations.  Strive to live a content life regardless of my circumstances.  
34. Name 1 regret you have: not being more confident when I was younger.  I had to grow up to build it! 
35. Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: Someone else cooking the meals every night:) 
36. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: So much.  The freedom to make my own choices.  
37. What's your favorite song of the moment? I have been listening to David Crowder and Third Day lately.  I don't have a particular song that stands out as a favorite.  
38. What's your favorite song of all time? I could never have a favorite for that long...
39. What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night? I have two small kids who kick my butt all day...Soooo, I like to put them to bed and then recover from the long day by sitting on the couch eating a treat and watching a show with my hubby.  Bliss. 
40. What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon? Church with the fam and then a family nap/rest after and lastly a yummy dinner together.  Maybe a swim at our community pool. Low key.  
41. Have any hidden talents?  I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose with ease;)
42. You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal? Sushi, strawberry short cake and a Pepsi. lol  
43. What would be your dream job? What I do...stay at home Mom. If I didn't have littles at home I would love to be a traveling motivational speaker, or faith focused teacher for women groups and churches (assuming public speaking didn't terrify me...)
44. Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?  The only true love I know of comes from knowing Jesus...money, meh...I can live without it.  
45. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? Just one...world peace:)...that would basically mean that the rapture has happened and we are now in Heaven.  
46. Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? Not that I can recall
47. Name 1 thing not many people know about you:  Oh gosh I don't know...I am not a fan of chick flicks or country music...doesn't mean I can't stand them but, I will choose something else if given an option.  
48. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? I have no idea.....I could sit here all day trying to think of another name I would like.  
49. Do you believe in the afterlife? I hope that anyone who knows me...knows my answer to this already.  100% yes...Heaven and Hell are both fo reals.  
50. On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?  This is a very interesting question....ummmm....I am pro-life y'all and not ashamed of it one bit BUT, my strong feelings on this issue do not in any way lessen my love for pro-choicers or women who have had an abortion.  I love  y'all and I would never think less of you because we don't see eye to eye on this...but, I am gonna fight to protect those who do not have a voice to fight for themselves.  And cookies....I LOVE THEM...fresh baked cookies are a weakness of mine.  I'll take them over ice cream ANY DAY!  

Random Musings On Life Through the Lens of A People-Loving Introvert

I am an introvert.

I have come to realize that introvert is a broad category and within that category are lots and lots of different types of people. Duh.  You already knew that.  You smarty pants you.  

I am this type of introvert:

My sanity and energy is only replenished when I am alone.   I would literally die without a BIG pinch of alone time every single day.  I would DIE.

No, I am not being dramatic.

Alone time usually consists of me doing some very relaxing activity like reading my bible, staring at a wall, watching a show, talking to myself, browsing on my cell phone, taking a 20 minute cat nap, or curling up in the fetal position on the floor.  Don't laugh...you know you do it to...okay, you can laugh;).

Alone time must be in my home.  Not at a coffee shop.  Not as a guest in someone else's house.  Not at a store without kids.  Alone, in my home.

My home is my sanctuary.

My home is the only place that I feel completely relaxed and free to be me.  It is my escape.  I could even go so far as to say that alone time in my home is a vacation for me.  I am genuinely refreshed best in that time and space.

If I am a dead battery, then my home is the charger and the longer that I am away from my charger, the lower my battery level gets.

I love quiet spaces....They don't have to be silent..just not loud.  I don't want to hear any screaming kids, blasting music or TV, nor chatty people or wild hubby...just me and a mellow room = Bliss.

I never enjoyed sleep overs as a kid (though I did get through a fair amount) because I never enjoyed chatting with a friend until late in the evening.  I was always too tired to keep that up...probably because all of the high pitched talking and excessive giggling had completely fried my mother board.

I struggle with sharing a space with anyone other than my immediate family for too long.  Like I really do not enjoy it.

Some introverts do just fine sharing their space with others during a family reunion trip at a resort or at the beach or maybe during the holidays etc.  Good for them.  No me gusta.

I can handle a couple of days or maybe three at best and then I begin short circuiting.  It actually feels very much like I am running on a week without sleep after a few days of non-stop visitors and noise.

My brain and body begin shutting down.  Literally.

What is the problem?  Well, the problem is that I am unable to get the alone time that I desperately need to recharge when I am in the constant company of others.  My routine gets tossed out the window during long social events and I really rely on a routine for sanity.  

If you are already judging me at this point then you are an extrovert and you will never understand so just move along (wink).

I do not require a girl's night out each week to keep my stuff together.  I get my stuff together when you all go out and leave me at home...alone.

LOL.

On the other hand, I LOVE my friends.  LOVE. LOVE. Love each and every one of them.  I love communicating (something that many introverts hate).  I love keeping in touch.  I love e-mailing, texting, voxing, facebooking, instagramming.  I care about my friends more than words can express.

It is only BECAUSE I love my friends so much that I will pull together every scrap of social energy that I have left after a long day of play dates and battling opinionated little humans, to meet up for coffee or whatever we decide on.

 In other words, I will sacrifice my beloved evening alone time....my time of refreshment, for my friends, because I care about relationships and I recognize that they do require investment in order to thrive.

And I do LOVE those outings when they do happen because I love the people I am gathering with.   It is good for the soul to have girl time and I understand the great value of finding social balance in life...even for an introvert.

I may have to push myself much harder than an extrovert to get together with friends but, the friendships that have been built out of these efforts are priceless to me.

I have been blessed with some of the most amazing girl friends a gal could ask for.  Friends that I have known since I was a child, friends from school, church, my new state and even new friends that I have made through social media.

Building quality relationships isn't always easy for an introvert...or maybe it isn't always easy for extroverts as well....I dunno.  Extroverts, thoughts?

It is hard work sometimes and it is certainly not always an easy path to navigate with women because we are all so guarded more often than not but, it is so rewarding for me to invest in people this way.

We are all quite similar behind all the masks that we hide behind.  We all just want to be loved and accepted for who we are.  Right?

My greatest joy in life is encouraging others...and that is an interesting thing to derive joy from when you are an introvert who loves being alone.

Encouragement is the gift that God has given me and it is the one thing in life that when I give it away I too am blessed tremendously as well.

Basically, I am an introvert who loves being alone but, I love investing in people just as much.

Definitely an interesting tug of war at times.

 I often have four or five play dates a week.  That is a lot for an introvert like me but, I love helping my kids to build friendships and I love being able to build mine at the same time.  I also prefer keeping busy with my kiddos than attempting to get through each long day on my own at home.  That is far harder for me.

I feel much more social during the day than I do at night, so play dates are a great way to meet up with my friends and entertain my kids at the same time.

But, even after a three-ish hour play date I am completely and utterly wiped out.  Yes, the play dates are worth it and yes, I enjoy them but, three solid hours of conversation makes me so sleepy.  If I hit that crashing point, my brain will just abruptly stop producing logical conversation.  It becomes a tremendous struggle to stay present.  My eyes might even feel a bit glossed over and my brain feels like it is in a daze.  I'm so done.

 And yes, it can be such a bummer to be an introvert when these types of things happen.

Talking on the phone....well, I love it and I hate it.   I only talk on the phone regularly with a handful of people....like, five.  Talking on the phone is a social activity and once again it takes energy away from an introvert like me.

Why is talking on the phone depleting for an introvert?  Who knows.  Well, I do have some theories but, it would take too long to go into that now...It just is.  So there.

A good friend of mine asked me if I would ever consider renting a beach house with a group of friends for a week.  I said...no, probably not.  I told her that I could handle a couple of nights but, that would be all and I would be whipped after two nights.  It wasn't easy to admit that to my friend but, I have learned that it is better to be honest up front than to make excuses later.

I could rent a beach house next door to my friend's beach house and survive that much better than sharing a space with them day in, day out, for a week.  Because I would have a space to retreat to....and I would pull away and recharge, if it all became too much.

I know how weird/strange/crazy/odd this all might sound to anyone who is not like this.

Like really is it so hard to share a house on a beautiful beach with friends for a week?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Boom.

Hosting people in my home...

For some introverts, the very thought of hosting a gathering can induce a panic attack.

Not the case for me.

I actually love inviting people into my home on occasion but, I do need to plan and prepare for it.   Although, I don't think that hospitality comes entirely natural to me, I have really enjoyed the learning process over the years.  I am a slow learner but, I am getting there.

I take note of what other women do when I am in their homes that makes me feel more welcome and then I try to incorporate more of that into my routine with my own company.

I used to host gatherings quite frequently in my home before kids.  Again, I think this is because I love people and I love bringing people together.  I love building relationships with anyone and everyone.

I am the type of person who strikes up conversation with any random person in a store, in a line, at school, in the bathroom, while on a walk, etc.  Whenever I have the time, I will linger and chat or listen if a stranger wants to.

After having kids, I lost A LOT of my drive to host.  It is a good amount of work to clean a home, prepare a meal or snacks and then entertain company and then clean the home again after it is over.  Now that more of my energy is directed towards my kiddos I have much less energy to host.

I have a feeling that I will be hosting a lot more once our kiddos are a little bit older.

I have also noticed that I need more alone time now that I have children.  I needed far less before having kids.

Kids take a lot out of me...they extract every social/mental drop out of my system each and every day.

Make no mistake, I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE being a stay at home mom.  It is a priceless gift that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  But, it's the toughest job I have ever held without a doubt.  Amen. Amen.

When my kids are grown and I have an empty home once again, my introvert needs will change to reflect that season because I will be getting a lot more alone time every day.  I might even take that friend up on the week long beach trip then because I could handle it much better without kiddos.

We are always changing.

I like to leave lots of room for change.

This is just where I am at right now and where I have been for the past 6 years or so more or less.

Introverts, how much of this can you relate to?  I LOVE you!  You might be a nut that takes me a little longer to crack but, your hearts are so beautiful.  I love that I can relate so well to you!

And extroverts, I LOVE you.  Your energy is infectious.  Your zest for life is inspiring and you motivate me to get out of my shell.  I will never be able to keep up with you but, I love watching you GO!

hahaha.

Life is beautiful.  You are all beautiful!
And on that note,
 good night.
xoxo

Our Christmas Family Pics - 2013

My good friend Emily Camp is a great photographer and for the past 3 years we have swapped our skills and taken each others family photos.  It really has been such a blessing to capture our growing families and to save money in these tighter life seasons.  I honestly don't know that I would even make it a priority to get our family pictures done each year if I didn't have a friend doing it for us because, picture days are often ridiculously stressful around our house.  I don't even know why...we have the entire day to prepare for them, we plan and pick settings and outfits in advance, we keep the expectations low and it really isn't that big of a deal to me.  I know the routine after all as I am a photographer myself nonetheless, like clock work, about an hour or two before our session, the moods in our house begin to deteriorate.  Sigh.  Does anyone have that issue or is it just us?

Anyways, this year we almost backed out...almost but, we pulled it together at the last second and I am very glad that we did.  I love the beautiful images that Emily captured of our family and our 3 1/2 year old daughter who really does look much older this year than she did in last year's Christmas photos believe it or not.  I do too but, let's not get excited about that shall we.  

To answer the ten people who asked me where my shirt came from...TJ Maxx, Summer '13.  Sorry, that was not relevant for the rest of you but, you have to admit...it is a cute shirt.  It's like a confused mix of the 80's, 90's and 2000's. :)  

  Thank you Emily again for being such a great friend and photographer!

 And thank you sweet Jesus that we only have to do this once a year:)

one of my faves below:)  How cute is Daisy all propped up perfectly:)

Daisy loves to wrap her arms around both of our necks and squeeze as hard as she can.  Kind of her trade mark.

We sure love our little peanut a whole heck of a lot...and she knows it:)

Emily and I took a few portrait head shots of each other so that we could update our photography websites.  I have officially captured my 30th year with a professional portrait, yeah!! Thanks Emily:)!

this was my favorite head shot, below.  My eyes aren't really that awesome and my skin is not really that smooth but, Emily made me feel special by editing me gently and I'm grateful! xo

 My kiddo is getting long and lean these days...as evidenced in this picture!

 I love this picture that Emily captured of Daisy sitting pretty and doing such a good job getting her picture taken.  Love my little girl so much.

Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak and Slow to Anger

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." James 1:19 

I almost had one of those parenting moments this morning that I most certainly would have regretted had this verse not been on my heart.  

While I was washing dishes this morning, I asked my 3 year old to put the new shampoo and conditioner bottles on the counter in our master bathroom.  

I need to give my daughter kudos for being such a willing and helpful little girl.  She is always so sweet and cheerful when I ask her to do things for me.  Thanks Daisy!

I digress, moments later she runs out to me with a rather wild eyed look on her face and exclaims, "Mom, duh towet paper fewl in duh potty!"

I remembered that I had left a brand new roll (and the last roll) of toilet paper sitting on the bathroom counter and I wondered if that had been too much of an opportunity for her to pass up.  After all toilet paper does go in the potty, so why not drop in an entire roll right?  

I followed her into the bathroom as she waved her hands in the direction of the toilet and had a concerned look on her face.  I felt a twinge of anger welling up in my heart because let's be honest a part of me was jumping to the conclusion that this was intentional and that she would need discipline.  Trying to keep my frustration under control I asked her, "Daisy, how did this happen?  Was this an accident or did you just drop it in?" I recognize that her communication skills are still rather limited when it comes to logic so I had to be extra patient as initially she didn't seem to be able to give me an answer. So, I asked her again more gently and with a kinder expression on my face, 

"Daisy boo, how did the toilet paper get into the potty?" 

Her response gave me a good and unexpected barrel laugh.

With her typical animated gestures and expressions she replied with a big swoop of her hand, "I put duh shampoo on duh cowntur and den duh toiwet paper went WOOOOOOSH off duh counter and into duh potty!"  Let me emphasize that her Woosh was incredibly loud and passionate. :) It was hilarious and perfectly expressed.  Again, well done Daisy!

I pulled the sopping wet roll out of the toilet and after I knelt down next to my toddler and looked into her ever joyful brown eyes.  "Daisy, thank you for telling me the truth and for coming to get me when you needed help."  

As I walked away from that amusing little situation, I praised God that His word gave me the strength to keep from doing something that I would have sorely regretted.  If I had responded immediately in anger as is so often the temptation in moments of parent-child conflict, I would have falsely accused and reprimanded my innocent child (not always innocent of course but, in this instance she was. lol).  Then she would have been hurt (if only emotionally) by my behavior and I would be grieving over my error.

 "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." James 1:19 

It is amazing how much peace can be kept in a home simply by adhering to the wisdom in the verse above.  Be quick to listen.  Use your ears first. Give your kids and your spouse a chance to speak before jumping to quick conclusions or false judgements.  Be slow to speak.  Our immediate responses can often be selfish and unkind in the midst of conflict.  Give yourselves time to chew on what you need to say before you say it.  This will help you to filter out the heated words that you might have spoken and instead speak words with more patience and love.  

 Don't get me wrong, I have made plenty of parenting mistakes  (already in 3 short years?...I know right) but, this was one instance that I was keenly aware of the fact that God's word was guarding my heart and as a result, the outcome was a blessing and not a regret.  Instead we enjoyed peace and marvelous laughter.  My favorite.

Is this a verse that you are familiar with and if so does it challenge you in a positive way in your relationships?   

Simple is Sweet

I love when my child spots a field full of yellow flowers and then takes off running for it, while squealing with her arms spread wide like an eagle soaring through the air.  Every flower in that field, she sees as an opportunity to pick or to dance around.  She also notices every bug, rock and stick along the way.

What I see as a simple lot beside a quaint cafe, she sees as a magnificent wonderland full of imaginative creatures, magical places and adventures to be had. 

Though we were more than ready to head home after my celebratory birthday brunch, both my hubby and I recognized that this was one of those simple moments in life worth pausing for. 

We both stepped into the green pasture and looked on with joy as our little girl picked flowers to her heart's content.  She picked some for me.  She picked some for Dad.  She kept some for herself.  She was as happy as could be and my heart was flooded with gratitude that something so simple and unexpected could refresh my spirit and bless my soul. 

Simple things are just that..simple and yet somehow it is the simple things in life that often have the most profound impact on us.   

  

"In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity." Henry Wadsworth Lonfellow

and of course I asked the hubs to take a few pics of me otherwise I would never have existed in this memory...tis the life of a mom and a photographer! hehe And you may notice some yellow stain on Daisy's hands in some of the pictures above? The pollen had literally exploded this weekend and the ground was covered in a nasty yellow film. I have terrible allergies and for that reason alone I was unable to run through the field with Daisy which killed me. Nonetheless, we still managed to share a sweet little moment together. and not that this is really relevant to the topic of this post at all (aside from it being my birthday) but, I wanted to share a picture of the cake that my hubby so kindly helped make for my birthday. Simple and very sweet! 

 Hope you are all taking the time to enjoy the marvelous simple things in life!

9 Year Anniversary - Mewidge is What Bwings us Together Tewday

Today, 9 years ago (holy cow!), my husband and I walked down the aisle of our Calvary Chapel Church in California.  We exchanged vows and sealed our union before God, family and friends.  Sweet luau songs were playing in the background and we both wore white for the tropical themed occasion.  My hubby shed quite a few tears (he's always been the crier in this relationship..hehe) and I had a grin that couldn't be tamed.  If ever a perfect day existed in an imperfect world, that day sure came close.

My hubby and I have been on so many marvelous adventures together and I look forward to many more.  I've learned that my hubby is passionate about fishing and me not so much.   He's learned that I am passionate about traveling, photography and seeing new places. When possible we combine those different passions into one adventure to satisfy us both.  I think they call that compromise:). We've experienced incredibly painful losses together and found that we grieve very differently.  One of us prefers space and the other desires close support.  That has been interesting. lol

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We are far from being the people that we were when we got married 9 years ago and that is a good thing.  I sure as heck wouldn't want to be the same gal now that I was at 21!  Life has shaped us, grown us, matured us, stretched us and forever changed us.  Life is a wild and wonderful journey of ups and downs and all arounds and so to is marriage.

As you all may have gathered by now if you've read my blog for any length of time; I enjoy sharing as openly as possible about my life and the different seasons that I go through.   One of the reasons I started this blog was to use it as an outlet to encourage and inspire others by sharing my heart and my faith.  I deeply admire people who are real and honest about life and what they learn as they go through it.  It's not easy to be open about things going on in our lives when life isn't going the way we want it to.  After all, it would be much easier for me to lead you all on to believe that I have a perfect life, perfect family, perfect home and everything is hunky-dory all the time.  Then you might have less to give me advice on, worry about, judge me for etc.  Plus that would make me look better and of course we all want everyone to think we have it all together but, I've come to the realization that I would rather risk my reputation being real than have a reputation built on falsehood.  That superficial kind of living reminds me of the movie, The Stepford Wives and that was just down right creepy.   I recognize that not everyone needs to talk about their personal lives and some people even refuse to.  I respect that.  Everyone is different and that's a good thing but, I've always been most inspired by the people who are brave enough to share their stories even when it is uncomfortable for them.  They face their fear and they surrender their pride for the sake of helping others and to me that is heroic.  I am so encouraged by those who tell their stories of going through hell and back and coming out victorious on the other side.  Their stories have given me hope to press on and the strength to cling to God's truth even when the enemy has wanted desperately to rip it away from me. (Don't you like that I have a picture of us "picking" our noses beneath such a serious paragraph. hehe Humor is the spice of life!)

So in the spirit of keeping it real I'm going to share a wee bit with you.  I think my hubby and I would agree that our personal lives and our marriage have been in the trenches for a few years now...and I mean really in the trenches.  Life has been incredibly hard and often extremely painful for both of us for various reasons that I won't get into at this time...someday perhaps!  Our relationship has been stretched farther than we could have ever imagined and in many ways due to circumstances outside of our control.  I think we were both blindsided by the rough turn that our lives and marriage took.  Things had been going so well overall and we were without a doubt each others best friend.  We were both passionate about maintaining strong communication, openness, trust and respect.  We've always loved being together and doing just about everything together.  We are both passionate about marriage and we worked hard to have a strong, Christ-centered relationship.  We have attended marriage bible studies and read lots of relationship books.  We have gleaned wisdom regularly from older couples that we admire.  We have done all the "right" stuff and all the "Christian stuff" to protect our marriage from all harm and threat.   Marriage hasn't ever been easy per se even when it was great...but, the work was edifying and worth it.  It was like the feeling you get after working hard in your yard all day.  Your body aches from the labor but, when you look around and see how your efforts created something beautiful, it makes all that pain and labor worth it.  It takes work to have a good marriage but, the work is well worth the beautiful relationship that grows out of the effort, the sacrifice and the compromises.  You simply cannot have a good or healthy marriage without lovingly tending to it. 

Sometimes things in life happen that you simply could not have prepared for or ever imagined.  These things can catch you completely off guard and knock the wind out of your sails and your marriage.  Maybe the death of a child or other close family member.  Maybe complete financial ruin.  Maybe infidelity. Maybe betrayal.  Maybe horrific illness or permanent disability.  Sometimes, even the best marriages go through incredibly rough seas and many don't make it.  I suppose our nearly 60% divorce rate in the US is a sad indication of this reality.

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My husband and I have been married for 9 years and have been together like peanut butter and jelly for over 13 years... that is almost half of my life at this point!  Crazy huh.  I can't tell you how many people have nonchalantly said to me, "you guys will always be together.  Marriage just comes so naturally to you guys.  It's effortless for you."  I can't decide if I want to smack them in the face for their shortage of intelligence or say thank you because I know they mean well.  The truth is, we are still married in spite of all we've been through, because of Jesus and our desire to surrender to Him.  We are still married because we want to honor Him with our lives even in the midst of incredible pain and trial.  We are still married because we believe that marriage is worth fighting for because God created it and we know how awesome it can be.  We are still married because we are choosing to be.

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Lemme tell yah, marriages are at war with a brutal adversary.  There is an enemy and he does not want our marriages to succeed.  I always keep that fact in mind because I see things differently when viewed through that lens.  The enemy has been working over time in his efforts to destroy the beautiful marriage that my husband and I had built together on Christ as our foundation.  The enemy thrives on the destruction of beautiful things.  He wants to hurt us and in fact he takes great pleasure in breaking our marriages and our lives apart.  If the enemy wants marriage that bad it must have incredible value. He seeks to devour only the things that he knows God loves.  So be alert.   This is one of my many favorite passages in scripture, ^"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." Ephesians 6:10-18  I hope that I never have to go to war for my country but, I can tell you that there are times in our lives that we are at war with the enemy on a spiritual level and that warfare is downright intense. God's armor is SO powerful and it DOES protect us from the enemies attacks.  You must put it on every single day.

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A while back a friend pinned the fantastic video on marriage that I have attached at the bottom of this post.   I already know much of what Pastor Francis discusses but to be honest, I NEEDED to hear it again.  I needed to hear someone that I admire and respect, remind me of the truth and why it is worth living out in my marriage.  Everything that this couple discusses comes straight out of scripture and yet it contradicts just about everything that this world teaches us about love and marriage.  The world tells us to follow our heart...eh wrong. "The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be." (Jeremiah 17:9, 10 MSG) The world tells us to act based on how we feel...eh wrong.  Feelings change like the winds and basing decisions on our fickle feelings is never wise.

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Pastor Francis and his wife have done a beautiful job of challenging us to consider our false beliefs about marriage and re-evaluate what marriage is really supposed to be about.  It's hard stuff to take in but, it is truth and truth heals, transforms and brings things to light that have been hiding in darkness. WATCH IT.  Take the time.  Really, 50 minutes of great marriage counseling is a sacrifice worth making.  And if you are not married they suggest you watch it anyways because this will give you a better understanding of marriage and what to focus on before tying the knot.

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The truth is that I love my husband dearly even when things are messy and he loves me too...even when marriage isn't going as well as we'd like it to.  I love him to pieces and he is still my friend even when our friendship is being tested.  God has given us the strength to hold on to the truth of what it means to love someone. ^"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13.  Can you put your name in the place of love in each of these statements?  Don't worry..none of us can. :)  Only God can stand in the place of love and all things will still apply.  God IS love. This passage of scripture simply reveals that we all have room to grow and things to work on.

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  I've known my hubby since I was 16 and we have walked through SO much together.  He is the hardest working man I have ever known hands down and He has provided for me and our daughter so faithfully without complaint.  He is handsome and smart.  He enjoys serving me by helping with the housework (every women's dream) and he does it happily.  In the harder seasons of life and marriage etc. it's so important to hold tightly to the good things and to the truth in God's word because the enemy wants desperately to rip it all out of your hands and leave you grasping for anything worth fighting for.  Hold tightly to Jesus and to His promises for your life and marriage.  Our emotions are so fickle and they change day to day and sometimes hour by hour.  Try not to make hasty decisions based on fleeting and unstable emotions.  Remember to filter your feelings and emotions through God's word and seek him first above all else.  He will let you know if your feelings and emotions are lining up with truth.  Seek the Lord in prayer, wait for His direction and then you can proceed to move forward with his blessing knowing that you are anchored in truth. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

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 Don't worry about us or take what I have shared in love and freak out or jump to conclusions puh-lease!  I only shared all this in the hope that if you too are going through a challenging marriage season now or perhaps if you go through one in the future you can know that a.) you are not alone!!  Sometimes it's incredibly encouraging just to know that other people can relate to what you are going through  b.) that God loves you to pieces and wants to see your marriage succeed and thrive and He will see you through. 

 I see the light in what has been a really long tunnel.  I have confidence in what God is doing and I trust Him at the helm.  I know we will be on a romantic vacation in Europe before too long.  Well, that's my plan...the hubby would probably like to go fish somewhere.  I'll let you know how that works out:). lol   Tonight we are heading out to dinner and a movie to celebrate the past 9 wild years.  YEEHAW!  Sometime life is like riding a bull aint it.  Just keep hanging on.  He'll get tired sooner or later!
   Humor has always been our secret weapon and we continue to laugh in spite of it all.  God is good both now and always and because of that we know that "every little things gonna be alright." 

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WATCH THE VIDEO for GREAT MARRIAGE counsel