My Mother's Day Blessings

 These are definitely my new favorite pictures of my kiddos. I LOVED the way the light was pouring in all around this spot but, at the same time I loved that I had a nice shade patch for the kids to walk around in. And Bruin even looked at the camera like twice! What a great Mother's Day gift to me! hehe

 Happy Mother's Day to all of the amazing Moms both in our family, in our circle of friends and in all the world!! Thank you for all that you do to love on your kids and families! Every drop of love that you pour out makes this world a better place.  God Bless you for all that you do.  I am blessed to know so many strong, giving, loving and selfless women.  I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day being celebrated.  xoxo

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Being a momma is such incredibly hard work.  It's bone weary, gray hair and wrinkle inducing,  brain frying hard.   Every Momma would agree to this and they would probably also point out that I am being far to gentle in my description here.  lol.  

But I also think that every Momma would agree that motherhood's rewards are made up of priceless treasures that money could never buy.

 The gifts that these little people pour into our weary hearts is so rewarding.  Every time they smile.  Every time they snuggle up to us.  Every time they scribble us a little note or love letter.  Every time they get hurt and run to us because they know that we are the only ones who will kiss the boo boos just right.  Every time they wrap their little arms around our necks as we swoop them off to bed.  Every time they point at something new and stare with such an expression of wonderment.  Every time they show love to each other and we get to see a tiny glimpse of our hard work paying off.  Every time they breathe and we simply appreciate the fact that they are okay.  Every time they sing on stage with their class.  Every mother/child tea in preschool.  Every thoughtful gift and every slobbery kiss.  Every time they call us on the phone when we are away.  Every time they come to us for advice and encouragement.  Every time they say, "you are the best mom in the wold world."

What a gift these little wild ones are.

What a sweet gift motherhood is.


(Below: Daisy is not smiling her usual over the top smile here but, I promise she was actually having a lot of fun with Bruin;) 

Let's All Just Be Offended About Stuff

I wonder if this will be a period of time that will be looked back on and labeled, "the period of time in which everyone was offended by everything."

I'm offended by that. (wink)

I love Facebook and instagram!  I haven't jumped on the twitter band wagon yet and I'm not sure that I ever will since I already have to exercise tremendous self-control to stay off of all of the electronic devices around me.  I don't need another reason to pick up my phone to "check on something," and an hour later forget why I even picked up the phone.  I don't want another excuse to open my laptop, hop on the ipad (or an ipad mini), or turn on the t.v. and stream something through Playstation or the Wii.  

I love keeping up with friends both old and new.  I love feeling like I haven't totally lost touch with everyone that I am unable to see as often as I'd like; such as my family that live out of state.  

I enjoy watching all of the ridiculous and funny videos posted on Facebook.  There was a video circulating of Australians trying out American beer for example.  Have you seen that one yet?  Pretty funny but, seriously, I probably could have done something much more productive with those 4 minutes of my life....naaaahhh.  I take that back.  That was time well spent.   

Social media is great.  Really!  It has opened so many doors for communication that we didn't have before and it networks people all over the world.  It can be such a blessing. 

The one aspect of social media that I am not quite as fond of is the hyper sensitivity and offense that everyone takes over everything now.  Or maybe it is the fact that everyone has such a strong opinion about everything and in the process of having these strong opinions on social media we forget to treat each other with respect.  We forget to be loving.  We forget to be empathetic.  We forget to be forgiving.  We forget to be patient.  We forget that those tiny little squares of a face next to a name on Facebook or instagram are a real person, with a real soul and with real feelings.

Or more honestly, perhaps we really don't care?  

I don't like when Facebook and other social media outlets become a war zone of words and hatred. 

Yuckity-yuck-yuck.

I also don't like when people blast the world with their strong opinions and then belittle everyone who doesn't share in their opinion.  Can we agree to disagree sometimes?  Can we not just respect that we are not always going to see eye to eye on everything?  

Let me give one large example which requires me to bring up the very touchy subject of gay marriage...can't believe I am going here...but, just for a tiny second, simply to prove a point I shall boldly go where...well, anyways.

Honestly, I was overwhelmed, heartbroken and even angered by all that I read on Facebook the week that gay marriage was approved for all of the states.  I never posted anything opposing or supporting the news one way or another but, I did read a great deal.  A quarter of the folks that I'm friends with were viciously attacking gays and gay rights community and the victory that they were celebrating and another quarter of the folks I am friends with were viciously attacking Christians and the community who are not in support of the gay marriage victory.  It was hostile.  It was ugly.  It was hurtful and down right brutal.  Am I right?  

Another quarter were actually quite civil about the whole thing...and to those of you on either side who were civil. I APPLAUD YOU.  It takes self-control, patience, kindness, understanding and love to be respectful in the midst of a hot issue but, you all prove that it is in fact possible!  

Yes, we can love each other and not always agree.  We really can..trust me! 

 I love my daughter to pieces and yet we disagree with each other a dozen times a day.  It's absolutely exhausting but, it CAN BE DONE. :)   

I think opinions are great!  God made us to think creatively and independently but, he didn't create us to control or manipulate others to think exactly like we do.  He didn't create us to attack and condemn each other.  He didn't create us to hate.  

When we feel hatred or disgust towards another human being (and I'm not even talking about a murderer or rapist or someone like that...maybe just someone who doesn't cover their mouth when they cough, GASP and you de-friend them on facebook.)...we need to realize that we are in fact part of the big problem that our world has today.   

God created us to love one another.   He created us to think less about ourselves and our feelings and our emotions and more about the needs and hearts of others.  

And if you do not believe in God I can understand that you might have your own moral code but, I'm guessing that you still want to be loved, do you not?  I'm betting that you still want others to treat you with respect am I right?  

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is a pretty widely accepted philosophy. 

All of this is not to say that engaging in healthy debate is wrong or inappropriate.  Not at all!  Debate can be very productive and educational for listeners.  I love listening to and participating in a good debate on Facebook!  I love hearing what y'all have to say and what y'all think about things and you all know that I too share my heart and thoughts on subjects as well.  I'm right there with yah!

 I would say that it is a fine line and more often than not, even a healthy debate turns into something completely corrupt and hostile before it has concluded.  Not always of course...but, often.  

We don't need to call each other names do we?  

Kids would get put in a really long time out for the kind of stuff that most grown ups participate in online.  Maybe we grown ups need to remember to take a time out when we are feeling frustrated or too hot-tempered to control our words.  Just walk away from the keys.  Just step away from the hot topic post that is making your eye twitch.  Step away from it all and cool off and get some fresh perspective before responding in anger.  Think before you speak.  

Maybe consider asking God to give you a loving heart for even the most difficult people in your life. Trust me, I can attest that this is not easy territory to walk in.  #dailystruggle

I saw a handful of people who shared that they were taking a break from Facebook because it was too painful to read all that was being posted.  

Good for you.  I took a little break too.  I prayed.  I cooled off and then when I wasn't overwhelmed by it all I returned...though it only took like 5 seconds to feel that heat rise when I got back into social media. lol  I'm guilty too of course. 

Anyways, I couldn't help but, blog about this today.  It was one of those posts that has been itching on my finger tips for SO LONG.  I know that this post isn't going to change anything...okay well, that was a bit pessimistic but, what I mean is that very few people read my blog.  

Sometimes I write simply because I publish my blog and I save these posts for my kids. 

 I hope that my kids will know the kind of grown up that I try to be.  I hope that my kids will not only read my words someday but, be able to say that I tried my best to be a loving example in action and truth. I hope that they can someday say that I taught them how to treat others both those that we agree with and those that we disagree with.  I will surely fail at times and some of you will witness my failings but, I will seek forgiveness and try again.  I want to be a kinder and more loving person today than I was yesterday and tomorrow I hope that I can be a kinder and more loving person than I was today. 

I love you all.  I really do....each and every opinionated one of you:) hehe

And now that I have poured these jumbled thoughts onto a page, I am going to close this laptop and take a little break and visit a friend.   

Adios.  

Never Give Up

Don't give up. 

Even if your steps are small.  Even if you can't take a step at all. 

Fall.

Into His love.  

Focus on the light in the tunnel.  If darkness has swallowed it up, know His light.

It's there. Always.

Don't let it go.

It's yours to keep and no one can take it from you.

Rest and breath and then rest some more.

Set boundaries.  Honor them.

When no one understands.  He does.

Don't run away.  Run Home.

Home.    

Ragged and weary.  Broken and torn. 

You will never be turned away.

There is no greater love.  

Come Home.  

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9 Year Anniversary - Mewidge is What Bwings us Together Tewday

Today, 9 years ago (holy cow!), my husband and I walked down the aisle of our Calvary Chapel Church in California.  We exchanged vows and sealed our union before God, family and friends.  Sweet luau songs were playing in the background and we both wore white for the tropical themed occasion.  My hubby shed quite a few tears (he's always been the crier in this relationship..hehe) and I had a grin that couldn't be tamed.  If ever a perfect day existed in an imperfect world, that day sure came close.

My hubby and I have been on so many marvelous adventures together and I look forward to many more.  I've learned that my hubby is passionate about fishing and me not so much.   He's learned that I am passionate about traveling, photography and seeing new places. When possible we combine those different passions into one adventure to satisfy us both.  I think they call that compromise:). We've experienced incredibly painful losses together and found that we grieve very differently.  One of us prefers space and the other desires close support.  That has been interesting. lol

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We are far from being the people that we were when we got married 9 years ago and that is a good thing.  I sure as heck wouldn't want to be the same gal now that I was at 21!  Life has shaped us, grown us, matured us, stretched us and forever changed us.  Life is a wild and wonderful journey of ups and downs and all arounds and so to is marriage.

As you all may have gathered by now if you've read my blog for any length of time; I enjoy sharing as openly as possible about my life and the different seasons that I go through.   One of the reasons I started this blog was to use it as an outlet to encourage and inspire others by sharing my heart and my faith.  I deeply admire people who are real and honest about life and what they learn as they go through it.  It's not easy to be open about things going on in our lives when life isn't going the way we want it to.  After all, it would be much easier for me to lead you all on to believe that I have a perfect life, perfect family, perfect home and everything is hunky-dory all the time.  Then you might have less to give me advice on, worry about, judge me for etc.  Plus that would make me look better and of course we all want everyone to think we have it all together but, I've come to the realization that I would rather risk my reputation being real than have a reputation built on falsehood.  That superficial kind of living reminds me of the movie, The Stepford Wives and that was just down right creepy.   I recognize that not everyone needs to talk about their personal lives and some people even refuse to.  I respect that.  Everyone is different and that's a good thing but, I've always been most inspired by the people who are brave enough to share their stories even when it is uncomfortable for them.  They face their fear and they surrender their pride for the sake of helping others and to me that is heroic.  I am so encouraged by those who tell their stories of going through hell and back and coming out victorious on the other side.  Their stories have given me hope to press on and the strength to cling to God's truth even when the enemy has wanted desperately to rip it away from me. (Don't you like that I have a picture of us "picking" our noses beneath such a serious paragraph. hehe Humor is the spice of life!)

So in the spirit of keeping it real I'm going to share a wee bit with you.  I think my hubby and I would agree that our personal lives and our marriage have been in the trenches for a few years now...and I mean really in the trenches.  Life has been incredibly hard and often extremely painful for both of us for various reasons that I won't get into at this time...someday perhaps!  Our relationship has been stretched farther than we could have ever imagined and in many ways due to circumstances outside of our control.  I think we were both blindsided by the rough turn that our lives and marriage took.  Things had been going so well overall and we were without a doubt each others best friend.  We were both passionate about maintaining strong communication, openness, trust and respect.  We've always loved being together and doing just about everything together.  We are both passionate about marriage and we worked hard to have a strong, Christ-centered relationship.  We have attended marriage bible studies and read lots of relationship books.  We have gleaned wisdom regularly from older couples that we admire.  We have done all the "right" stuff and all the "Christian stuff" to protect our marriage from all harm and threat.   Marriage hasn't ever been easy per se even when it was great...but, the work was edifying and worth it.  It was like the feeling you get after working hard in your yard all day.  Your body aches from the labor but, when you look around and see how your efforts created something beautiful, it makes all that pain and labor worth it.  It takes work to have a good marriage but, the work is well worth the beautiful relationship that grows out of the effort, the sacrifice and the compromises.  You simply cannot have a good or healthy marriage without lovingly tending to it. 

Sometimes things in life happen that you simply could not have prepared for or ever imagined.  These things can catch you completely off guard and knock the wind out of your sails and your marriage.  Maybe the death of a child or other close family member.  Maybe complete financial ruin.  Maybe infidelity. Maybe betrayal.  Maybe horrific illness or permanent disability.  Sometimes, even the best marriages go through incredibly rough seas and many don't make it.  I suppose our nearly 60% divorce rate in the US is a sad indication of this reality.

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My husband and I have been married for 9 years and have been together like peanut butter and jelly for over 13 years... that is almost half of my life at this point!  Crazy huh.  I can't tell you how many people have nonchalantly said to me, "you guys will always be together.  Marriage just comes so naturally to you guys.  It's effortless for you."  I can't decide if I want to smack them in the face for their shortage of intelligence or say thank you because I know they mean well.  The truth is, we are still married in spite of all we've been through, because of Jesus and our desire to surrender to Him.  We are still married because we want to honor Him with our lives even in the midst of incredible pain and trial.  We are still married because we believe that marriage is worth fighting for because God created it and we know how awesome it can be.  We are still married because we are choosing to be.

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Lemme tell yah, marriages are at war with a brutal adversary.  There is an enemy and he does not want our marriages to succeed.  I always keep that fact in mind because I see things differently when viewed through that lens.  The enemy has been working over time in his efforts to destroy the beautiful marriage that my husband and I had built together on Christ as our foundation.  The enemy thrives on the destruction of beautiful things.  He wants to hurt us and in fact he takes great pleasure in breaking our marriages and our lives apart.  If the enemy wants marriage that bad it must have incredible value. He seeks to devour only the things that he knows God loves.  So be alert.   This is one of my many favorite passages in scripture, ^"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." Ephesians 6:10-18  I hope that I never have to go to war for my country but, I can tell you that there are times in our lives that we are at war with the enemy on a spiritual level and that warfare is downright intense. God's armor is SO powerful and it DOES protect us from the enemies attacks.  You must put it on every single day.

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A while back a friend pinned the fantastic video on marriage that I have attached at the bottom of this post.   I already know much of what Pastor Francis discusses but to be honest, I NEEDED to hear it again.  I needed to hear someone that I admire and respect, remind me of the truth and why it is worth living out in my marriage.  Everything that this couple discusses comes straight out of scripture and yet it contradicts just about everything that this world teaches us about love and marriage.  The world tells us to follow our heart...eh wrong. "The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be." (Jeremiah 17:9, 10 MSG) The world tells us to act based on how we feel...eh wrong.  Feelings change like the winds and basing decisions on our fickle feelings is never wise.

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Pastor Francis and his wife have done a beautiful job of challenging us to consider our false beliefs about marriage and re-evaluate what marriage is really supposed to be about.  It's hard stuff to take in but, it is truth and truth heals, transforms and brings things to light that have been hiding in darkness. WATCH IT.  Take the time.  Really, 50 minutes of great marriage counseling is a sacrifice worth making.  And if you are not married they suggest you watch it anyways because this will give you a better understanding of marriage and what to focus on before tying the knot.

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The truth is that I love my husband dearly even when things are messy and he loves me too...even when marriage isn't going as well as we'd like it to.  I love him to pieces and he is still my friend even when our friendship is being tested.  God has given us the strength to hold on to the truth of what it means to love someone. ^"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13.  Can you put your name in the place of love in each of these statements?  Don't worry..none of us can. :)  Only God can stand in the place of love and all things will still apply.  God IS love. This passage of scripture simply reveals that we all have room to grow and things to work on.

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  I've known my hubby since I was 16 and we have walked through SO much together.  He is the hardest working man I have ever known hands down and He has provided for me and our daughter so faithfully without complaint.  He is handsome and smart.  He enjoys serving me by helping with the housework (every women's dream) and he does it happily.  In the harder seasons of life and marriage etc. it's so important to hold tightly to the good things and to the truth in God's word because the enemy wants desperately to rip it all out of your hands and leave you grasping for anything worth fighting for.  Hold tightly to Jesus and to His promises for your life and marriage.  Our emotions are so fickle and they change day to day and sometimes hour by hour.  Try not to make hasty decisions based on fleeting and unstable emotions.  Remember to filter your feelings and emotions through God's word and seek him first above all else.  He will let you know if your feelings and emotions are lining up with truth.  Seek the Lord in prayer, wait for His direction and then you can proceed to move forward with his blessing knowing that you are anchored in truth. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

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 Don't worry about us or take what I have shared in love and freak out or jump to conclusions puh-lease!  I only shared all this in the hope that if you too are going through a challenging marriage season now or perhaps if you go through one in the future you can know that a.) you are not alone!!  Sometimes it's incredibly encouraging just to know that other people can relate to what you are going through  b.) that God loves you to pieces and wants to see your marriage succeed and thrive and He will see you through. 

 I see the light in what has been a really long tunnel.  I have confidence in what God is doing and I trust Him at the helm.  I know we will be on a romantic vacation in Europe before too long.  Well, that's my plan...the hubby would probably like to go fish somewhere.  I'll let you know how that works out:). lol   Tonight we are heading out to dinner and a movie to celebrate the past 9 wild years.  YEEHAW!  Sometime life is like riding a bull aint it.  Just keep hanging on.  He'll get tired sooner or later!
   Humor has always been our secret weapon and we continue to laugh in spite of it all.  God is good both now and always and because of that we know that "every little things gonna be alright." 

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WATCH THE VIDEO for GREAT MARRIAGE counsel

Truth

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Choose Love

I made one quick outing to the store this morning. The clerk working there was beyond disrespectful and just down right horrible. The kind of person that makes you feel like an idiot simply for being in their store. Perhaps she was having a bad day. Perhaps her cat died or her Mom, Dad or Great Uncle Billy is sick with some incurable disease...or perhaps she was just being rude. 

Then as I drove back home contemplating the regularity of my encounters with rude and unhappy people I had the pleasure of witnessing two drivers in the throes of road rage. One was driving terribly and clearly did not know where they were going. As a result they caused another driver to swerve out of a lane more than once. I understand how incredibly frustrating it is to be the one nearly side swiped by a driver who is clearly not driving wisely but, I have also been the one making stupid mistakes on the road from time to time and generally on accident. I know that we are all guilty of that. Of course the driver who was being inconvenienced had to make sure his voice was heard. He sped up and began tail gating the terrible driver in front of him. He swerved wildly in and out of a lane to pace the bad driver, which caused others on the road to become very aware of the road rage behavior.  Finally he pulled up next to the still clueless driver, rolled down his window and exchanged some choice words. Testosterone at it's finest of course. The clueless driver who had evidently made a wrong turn and was back in a lane to get onto the freeway once again was not about to tolerate the attack. He chose to participate in the screaming match and he even added a few lovely hand and finger gestures to the event. Then the light turned green and they went their separate ways either feeling better or worse about what had transpired. I was a bit amused and definitely entertained by it all but, I was also grieved. 

Do we realize how little we accomplish by stooping to the same level as the bad driver, the rude clerk, the foolish person and the evil person?  Will we ever learn that this pattern only begets more evil, violence and unkindness?  Will we ever see that we are all a small part of a big problem and we can choose not to be...by learning how to take a deep breath, swallow our pride and forgive instead of fighting back. 

I don't think that turning the other cheek comes naturally to us at all but, if we desire to be a blessing in this life then perhaps it would be wise if we trained ourselves daily in the practice of humility and grace.  Prepare yourself for the fact that people are in a hurry on the road and mistakes are constantly being made.  Leave room between you and other drivers for grace.  Prepare yourself for the fact that so many people are hurting and angry and they are taking those emotions out on the wrong people.  Leave room for love, forgiveness and mercy. 

 We aren't perfect of course and even when we try we will still make mistakes.  We might start our day with the best of intentions and yet by mid day find that we have lashed out at someone in anger or cut someone off on the road purely for the satisfaction of doing it.  

I had one particular night that my stress got the better of me.  I got lost driving somewhere far from home and anyone that knows me well knows that getting lost while driving stresses me out more than just about anything.  I have no sense of direction whatsoever.  It's really quite pathetic actually.  My phone battery died and I was relying on the GPS on my phone to find my destination.  I was so overwhelmed.  I was also driving my husband's enormous truck that I am not comfortable in.  I pulled into a ridiculously packed college parking lot with compact spaces and truly did my best park job with the beast of a truck, between two tiny cars who were not parked straight. I even backed the truck out and corrected as much as I felt I could in my crooked space.  I had waited a good while for that tiny parking spot to become available and as I parked and got out of my truck, the car next to me pulled out.  I began marching to the closest burger joint full of emotional turmoil.  A man in another large truck yelled at me from across the parking lot, "hey lady, can you fix that park job? There aren't any other spots in here and I need that one." I was boiling. I am laughing as I write this now but, in that moment I did not find any of it funny.  I was late to my appointment, it was dark and I didn't know where I was.  I was only parked crooked because the car next to me had been crooked...the car that was now gone and now someone was yelling at me half way across a parking lot to go back to my car and re-park it for the 3rd time to accommodate him. 

Honestly, the calm me would have done this with a smile on my face and a happy, "Sure, no problem sir." The stressed out, lost, overwhelmed, about to cry me, was not able to respond that way.  I looked at this man and a whole slew of things flashed across my mind that I'd like to say to him.  I am not great at being mean even when I am mad (honest!) but, I tried my best and managed a halfhearted and rude, "well, I guess I have to don't I."  I marched back to my truck, pulled it out and parked it again and then got out and nervously stormed pass the other driver without making any eye contact.  I really wanted to make a point and it felt good for like all of ten seconds.  I glanced back only before heading into the burger joint to see that he had parked completely crooked.  I shook my head in irritation but, hoped he wasn't eating at the burger place because, I was already starting to feel guilty about my rudeness.  I didn't want to see him again because, in the state that I was in, I would probably start bawling and through snot and tears I would tell him my story and beg for forgiveness.  Thank goodness he ate somewhere else which gave me time to calm down and reflect on my my poor choices.

 I don't want to be that person.  She comes out once in a blue moon and I never like the outcome.  The next time that I am feeling this pressed and squeezed I want to sit for a minute and breath before I speak to anyone or I might end up regretting what I say. lol    The truth is that nothing justifies bad behavior...nothing.  We all have a choice to turn the other cheek and to love like Christ loves us.  Christ, who forgives us over and over again for our sins without striking us down as we well deserve.  Choose love today even in the face of unkindness and you just might be a blessing to a broken person.  You just might prevent an accident or brighten the skies over a stormy city.  Choose love!