Oh my golly, it's baby due date week folks!
I wouldn't say that this pregnancy has gone by quickly for me but, on the other hand I always feel shocked when I reach the end of the line. Seriously...I'm in shock. lol
People ask me often if I am "ready," and my feeling on that is that I actually do feel as ready as one can be to go into painful labor and then to welcome a new baby and all the change that they bring, into our home. Then again you can really only be SO ready, right:). Labor and delivery can go any number of ways and the temperament of our newest addition remains to be seen. Regardless, I know that everything is in God's hands and that is a great feeling and yes, of course I am excited!
How am I feeling? Well, in many ways I am feeling so much better than I was during my first pregnancy. This pregnancy has definitely been a more positive experience overall. The biggest blessing was only having nausea for a few weeks this pregnancy, compared to the 6+ months with Daisy.
On the other hand, I sleep only about 2-3 hours a night on average and yes I feel exhausted all the time so I feel quite ready for a newborn actually. I have carpel tunnel in my fingers and wrists due to fluid retention. I have pregnancy related anemia and pica. Pica for me involves an obsessive desire to smell bleach. I may or may not have ran a few empty loads of laundry with copious amounts of bleach just to fill the entire house with the aroma for a few hours....don't judge me, it's the hormones, I swear. hehe. I also crunch ice...every minute of every day. I can only imagine how annoying I must be to my husband and friends. I hope that these odd behaviors will dissipate after pregnancy. hehehe. I get winded super easily and getting up and down or out of bed has become quite a spectacle of grunts and groans. I pee, nine kajillion times a day and I especially love when intense contractions hit me while standing at a check out line because the hot flashes and need to pee become so intense that I never know what might happen. So, so fun! Last week as I was walking alone through Target, my son decided to karate chop my bladder....and I literally dropped to my knees in the aisle without even realizing it. That wasn't embarrassing at all... #pregnantgirlproblems
But, you don't have to tell me. I know, I know. It's all SO worth it. I could not agree more.
Also, before our little man arrives and I forget, I wanted to share the lovely maternity pictures that my friend (and awesome photographer), Emily Camp, took for our family a few weeks back. Thank you again Emily!
I am excited and yet nervous...calm and yet mind is also racing. I am a mixture of emotions for sure but, mostly I feel alright and I am truly savoring these last few days or hours before our new baby arrives. We have been getting so much done over the past month and we have been trying to soak up our time as a family of three as much as possible before we add our precious son to the family mix. It will definitely be a festive December for our family to say the least. I feel so blessed!
Now on to some deeper, honest blog ramblings:)...my specialty. hehe.
I never imagined that my kiddos would be spaced so far apart. I saw my life going very differently than it has in so many ways but, I am so grateful for it all...the wonderful and the not so wonderful because it is what has brought me here. Though here may not be what I planned or hoped for at one time in my life, it is where I am now and I trust that God knows better than I. I feel so much peace and contentment in that surrender.
I can attest to the fact that life does not always pan out the way we think it should...in fact I would be so bold as to say that it probably never pans out quite like we expect. Life is an adventure full of unknowns, bumps and curves and also wonderful surprises. I am so thankful that I have the Lord as my guide, my hope, my strength and my comfort through it all.
I know I say it often on this blog but, I have absolutely cherished the last 4.5 years that I have had with just one kiddo. Daisy and I have a very special bond indeed and I praise God for giving us this special time together. God is good, all the time and He has been so faithful to our family.
I have heard many a pregnant woman share her fears and concerns and when I wasn't pregnant I often thought that some of those worries seemed silly or irrational but, there is nothing like personal experience to shift our perspective and our understanding. There is nothing like personal experience to give us more compassion and empathy for others. To all the pregnant women before me who have had any of these fears or worries at one point or another, you are not alone. Now I understand:)
Some of the irrational and yet totally rational things (considering my pregnant state) that skate through my brain from time to time: I wonder how I could love another child as much as I have loved my first for nearly five years. I wonder if my bond with my son will be as instant as it was with my daughter. I wonder what he will be like and who he will favor. I wonder if Daisy will be jealous or if she will adjust smoothly. I wonder how I will juggle a second child when we have such a smooth routine with just one:). lol I hope that my son and daughter will have a strong bond. I hope that my son is healthy and that all is well with his tiny little body because I will feel anxious until I know for sure.
These thoughts are a totally natural response to something unknown and to a large impending life change.
I know all to well how to rationalize all of these fears with truth and faith but, the reality is that mental turbulence is just part of life from time to time for a momma to be and a month from now, the majority of these questions and concerns will be nothing but, a distant memory. I know it's all good. I know God is good. :)
I have packed bags for both me and the new baby, as well as a suitcase for Daisy, who will be spending the night at her friend's house when we go in to labor. Thank you SO much Christine!!
This will be her very first sleepover and she is over the moon excited! In fact, bless her little heart, I know that all the excitement over here over the past few months has been more than her little four year old brain can process. Between waiting for her baby brother to arrive, her first sleepover at her friend's house, family flying in from out of state, Christmas and all of the holiday festivities....she is quite the barrel of emotions. Totally understandable.
One thing is for certain, Daisy has the sweetest heart towards a brother that she hasn't even met yet. She is gentle with my giant belly and hugs it several times a day. She talks to her brother every night before bed and she talks about him with anyone who will listen. I know that she will be an awesome big sister. I am so thankful for her big loving heart.
Anyways, if our little guy decides not to come out on his own this week, my doctor will be inducing me on Friday. Please keep us in your prayers if you think of us. Of course I am hoping for my delivery to go as smoothly as possible and without any complications but, mostly I am praying for a healthy baby boy.
We have had a tremendous amount of people ask to visit us at the hospital. Thank you so much! I truly feel deeply loved by all of your support and excitement for our family! But, I am asking that visitors please hold off until we are home and settled as we are going to have quite the revolving door already between family and pre-arranged guests and I am trying to ensure that there will be some time to rest when my baby rests. There was not a moment of down time after I delivered Daisy and I am trying to increase my chances for a calmer experience this time around. I truly mean no disrespect to anyone and we will gladly welcome visitors once we are home and more comfortable. Thank you friends. We love you all so much!
I love dancing and being silly with my sweet little family! Can't wait for baby boy to get here so he can dance along with us. The count down is on....