Halloween 2015

Some years seem like they fly more quickly than others. This was one of those lightning speed flying years for me. I can't believe it is the holiday season again already.  I can't believe that my son is almost a year old or that my daughter will soon be six.  I also can't believe that she chose to dress up as something other than a princess this year!! A little bittersweet to be honest but, I couldn't be happier with her costume choice.  She was the perfect Dorothy!  It was a treat to snap some pictures of her this year because she actually wanted me to and she was having so much fun role playing as her character.  If I would have thought this photo op. through I might have even put some yellow paper squares down on the grass for her to walk on:).  

I got Daisy's costume on Amazon because Target was sold out and I of course had to get Toto...well, actually I didn't have to get him but, I did and even though he was the most disheveled dog I have ever seen...Daisy didn't seem to notice.  Win.  

And, if I had thought the costumes through I would have probably picked out a little lion costume for Bruin so that he could have complemented Daisy's costume.  And maybe, if I wasn't so dang busy as I always am this time of year, I would have picked out a costume for me and the hubby as well.   I love when families pull off theme costumes!  Oh well, maybe next year;).   

 Have you seen the new Legends of Oz cartoon?  We watched the movie on netflixs and we all enjoyed it.  I felt like the movie did a good job of reintroducing this generation of kids to Dorothy with an entirely new story.  Daisy has never actually seen the original Wizard of Oz.  I haven't wanted her to see it quite yet.  For now, the cartoon is perfect and evidently it sparked her interest enough to want to choose to be Dorothy:)!

Granddad and Beej joined us as they do each year for Halloween as did Auntie Jess, Uncle Seth and cousin Avery which was such a treat.  I love having family around on holidays.  It makes the celebration that much more complete.  I'm sure that many of you can relate.  We have a lot of family that live far away and we miss them terribly on every special occasion but, I am so thankful that we have some of our family here.

We made our traditional Martinez/Bailey burritos with fresh salsa for dinner.  Have you noticed that families often cook a lot of food from the same genre?  We eat just about anything in our house but, I think we probably eat more Mexican food dinners than anything else! lol.  

We headed out around 6:15 with our neighbors and family and the treatin fun began.  

Bruin starts to wig out like clock work at 7 so that definitely motivated us to get out early so that we could enjoy a little treat time before he got too tired.  He did great for about an hour and I was very thankful for that.  He seemed to enjoy looking at all the people walking around in strange outfits. lol.  I also stuck some snacks in his cup holder and that helped to keep him happy for a while.  He was so serious all night but, boy was he the cutest little serious bear!  Then, at seven just as I expected he started to get a little fussy so I took him home and Daddy and Daisy treated a few more houses before calling it a night.  It all worked out.  Score. 

Daisy was in Heaven all day long.  She couldn't wait to get into her costume and she had the biggest smile on her face all afternoon long.  She is my holiday kid and my celebration Queen. Daisy will find any reason to celebrate something and her joy in the process is so infectious.  

She walked up to a few doors to treat with her cousin Avery.  She was trying to teach her how to treat and the two of them were so cute, holding hands together.  It was pretty funny because Avery would have been happy to walk into people's homes or run around in the street.  She seemed to be in explorer mode! lol.  And wasn't she the cutest little bumblebee!  Love my niece to pieces and I was so happy that the cousins got to treat together.

Bruin mostly sat in his stroller the entire time but, towards the end he had enough and auntie held him for a bit as did my neighbor:). lol.  All in all it was a very fun night with family and friends.

When Daisy got home she dumped her candy out on the floor and did what she does best, organized it. She loves to organize and categorize things...also, much like her Mommy. lol.  She picked out a ring pop as her treat of choice and then a bag of chips and a bag of popcorn.  I realized she must be pretty hungry if she was more interested in food treats than all of the candy in front of her.  She even threw her ring pop away before it was finished so that she could eat string cheese instead.  I swear we don't starve her but, evidently all that treating made her hungry! lol.  She has also never been a huge sweets kid.  She likes candy but, she never seems to need much to be satisfied. 

Right before we turned off the porch lights, Daisy got to pass out some candy for the first time and she said she enjoyed that just as much as trick or' treating.  I enjoyed watching her!  She sat in the doorway on a little chair and waited excitedly for a new group of kids to come to the door.  "Mom, this is the most fun day ever," she said with the hugest smile on her face.  Oh how I love that little girl.  

When we sat the kiddos down for some pictures before going out, we all got a kick out of the way that Avery and Bruin kept staring at each other.  He was probably trying to figure out what was coming out of her head and she was mesmerized by the "baby."  Bruin never cracked a single smile.  He kept the same serious face all night long..which is pretty typical for him but, that  is the kind of thing that adds to the humor with kids.   So glad that we took the time to snap a few pictures and proud of the kiddos for tolerating it:)! 

 I can tell that Daisy is still adjusting (totally understandable) to life as an older sibling and also being the oldest kid in the family's small group of kids.  I notice her little attempts here and there to get the adults attention when the babies are naturally stealing the show.  All a part of life of course and all a part of growing up but, as the Momma it tugs on my heart strings a little.  She was after all my baby for nearly 5 years and I too was the baby of my family for over 6 years before my sisters came along.  A season of life that I actually still remember quite well.  She is such an awesome big sister though and most of the time she has that big smile on her face.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for these kiddos in the years to come.  

Holidays are so much fun with kids that is for sure. 

Hope you all had a fun Halloween! 

Happy Valentine's Day 2014

Happy, Happy love day to all of our friends and family!    

I hope you are all enjoying your day.  After all, this is just another day and another chance to tell the people that we love, "I love you and appreciate you." I hope you find yourself in the company of people that you care about today and I hope you know how loved you are.  

Our good friends, The Morris Family, are moving across country and our house is their first pit stop tonight.  Can't think of better people to spend the evening with:).  I'm definitely sad to see our dearest pals move so far away but, I'm thankful for all the years we have enjoyed in close proximity.  Praying that God blesses their socks off in their next chapter.  We will miss you guys like crazy.

Here are a few festive pics that I snapped of Daisy and her brand new cousin Avery Jo.  I was very impressed with both girls during this super fast photo op.  Daisy held Avery like a pro and Avery tolerated Daisy like a pro:).  I love them both to pieces.  Such a treat to finally be an auntie.

I have many more pictures to share from this session but, I am in a hurry...like always so this will have to do for now.   Enjoy! 

Much love from our family to yours. xo

Remembering Her

 Grief goes up. Grief goes down. Grief goes all around.  That is starting to sound a lot like a page out of a Dr. Seuss book the more I repeat it. hehe Anyways, I'm sure this will be one of many blog posts about my Gram as I work through the different phases of grief. Writing has always been the easiest way for me to sort through what I feel. I'm so thankful for this outlet because I don't know if I would be able to heal without a place to lay my heaviness to rest. So, bear with me as I dig deep and honor the memory of one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and loving.

 It's been a little over a week since my last living Grandparent; my Gram, Patricia Anne Marshall passed away very unexpectedly. She wasn't sick. She didn't die of old age and she was only in her 70's.  I think a lot of people assume that if a Grandparent dies that they passed on from an illness or old age.  That is how I always expected it to be with my Gram and since it wasn't it caught us all off guard.  It will take several months before the autopsy report is processed and in the meantime we will all have to find peace in the different ways that we need to find it. I'm shocked. I'm overwhelmed with emotion. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I was sure we would have her with us for many more years. I just can't believe she is gone.  With each passing day the reality begins to sink in a little more but, the ache remains like a steady knot in my stomach.  At different times of each day I find myself saying softly to myself, "I miss you so much Gram."

My Gram was the only living Grandparent that I had in my life for several years and she is definitely the Grandparent that I've always felt the closest to. No other loss has cut me as deep or as hard as this one. I don't attach easily to people and it takes me a really long time to forge a powerful bond with someone. I've grieved for all of my Grandparents but, this loss is just different. The bond was stronger. The memories vast and wonderful. There is not a piece of my life that doesn't have a part of her in it.   She was involved in every special event in my life in some way. 

 I haven't gotten much sleep in the past several days and that is unusual for me.  I'm too restless.  I'm having strange dreams.  I see her face and hear her voice when I close my eyes and that is not a bad thing at all but, it makes it much harder to fall asleep. I hear her laugh in my ears and all the memories we shared flash repeatedly through my mind. I can't imagine entering this holiday season and not having our chief of holiday affairs here to celebrate with us for the first time in nearly 30 years.

Her house is home base for our family.  It's the oasis and retreat for every grandchild on a bad day.  We've all found peace while laying by her pool and gazing up at her towering palm trees as they swayed in the California breeze. Jazz music was often playing on her outdoor sound system.  Her vast collection of wind chimes would chime away in a wild but, somehow perfect harmony.  When you closed your eyes you genuinely felt like you were at a tropical resort. Gram's house is paradise.

 This is the house that I have spent nearly 26+ years of holidays at before moving to North Carolina and even some since I moved.  Every Easter she hosted an egg hunt for the grand kids and a brunch usually followed. We were always most excited about finding a blue egg because they held a $20 bill for each grandchild. Every Halloween she served her delicious chili with saltine crackers and let us pass out boat loads of candy at her door.  We usually ate a lot of it too but, she didn't need to know that.  Every Thanksgiving she hosted a feast fit for a King and I can promise you that no one on planet Earth makes mashed potatoes as delicious as my Gram.  Every Christmas Eve she hosted yet another beautiful dinner and after we had all eaten, she would pass out a wrapped gift to each grandchild.  We already knew more or less what was inside but, we still tore our present open with great anticipation.  The beloved Christmas Jammies!!

 We always wondered who would match and what colors we would each get.  Even this past Christmas my Gram (and Aunt Pam thank you auntie) made sure to mail not only me, but, my husband and my daughter Christmas jammies to match with the rest of our family back home.  I was 28 years old this last Christmas but, I still wanted those jammies so bad because I felt so far away from all of my family in California and when I got them in the mail my heart skipped a beat.  Those jammies brought me a little closer to the celebration that I was missing. She never seemed to grow weary of tradition.  She never grew weary of spoiling her grand kids. 

 For nearly 18 years all of the grand kids would spend the night at Gram's house on Christmas Eve and wait for Santa to fly over the house.  Christmas morning we would all bound down her creaky stairs to start shaking the oodles of presents with our names on them and guessing what might be inside.  She spoiled us rotten.  Let me emphasize that....she spoiled us ROTTEN.  Her generosity with her family knew no bounds.  She was the most giving person I've ever known.  

She wasn't just generous at Christmas time.  She was generous all the time.  She always found special ways to bless everyone around her.  She always made sure to have my favorite foods at her house when I visited.  She knew I didn't like traditional store bought birthday cakes so she surprised me with an old fashioned root beer float instead.  She always remembered to call on my birthday and was so sweet to mail a birthday card and check year after year.  Our birthdays were only a few days apart; hers being on April 10th and mine being on the 13th.  She loved to treat me to sushi when I visited and we would pig out on her back patio and make a huge mess together.  She got us beautiful dresses for Easter and colorful swim suits each Summer when we were kids.  Every Christmas she asked each of us for a Christmas list and she went out of her way to get us the majority of the things on our list.  She loved to take care of and spoil the people that she loved. 

Last night, I spent a little time jotting down the random things that come to mind when I think of my Gram and what she loved.  These are the things that represented who she was to me and quite possibly to many people: wind chimes, iris flowers, watering and gardening, rose bushes, feeding scrub jays on her patio, slippers, heated blankets, sparkling soda water, tanning, sunshine, naked (don't ask:), jazz music, warm days, being a nurse, jewelry, IZ and especially his Somewhere Over the Rainbow song, sarcasm, sushi, rainbows, strength, People Magazine, pasta salad, feisty, control oriented, crime shows and counselor to many.   

I have countless memories of swimming in her beautiful pool every Summer.  When the grand kids were little Gram would order pizzas or bring us push ups in the pool.  She would always heat our towels in the drier and have them ready for us when we got out.  She even heated towels for me and my girl friends this summer (2012) when we were in the jacuzzi late one night.  It seemed that I never got too old for Gram to spoil me.  This past June was very special because my little girl learned how to float and paddle for the first time in my Grandma's pool.  My Grandma was right beside me rooting my little girl on as she bravely tackled each step in the shallow end. I can still hear her cheers, "yeah, you go Daisy! There you go. Kick those legs."

Just like that, in the blink of an eye any one of us could be gone.  Death is hard for the living because we don't want to spend the rest of a life here on Earth without that person who has passed but, death also reminds us of the fragility of life.  It's probably never wise to assume that we are going to have all of our loved ones in our life until they are 90.  It's probably best to remember that every minute of every day is a gift and we should love more, forgive faster, fight less, play more, pray harder, dance often and laugh lots.  Make as many of your moments here on Earth count.  Live like every day could be your last and see how much more beautiful this life becomes. 

Gram, I miss you terribly.  It's hard to be in your home without your presence.  It's hard to imagine this upcoming holiday season without your festive celebrations.  It's hard to imagine not getting your cheerful comments on Facebook and Instagram anymore.  Life will never be the same without you in it but, I will cherish all of the fantastic memories.  I will remember what a strong woman you were through life's trials and I will strive to be strong also.  I'll love you forever.  I'll love you for always.  As long as I'm living my Gram you will be.