My Baby Is Four

My little sweat pea is four today! In some ways it feels like just yesterday that I was holding her in my arms at the hospital, learning her cries, smelling her sweet baby smell and waking up several times a night to soothe her.  In other ways it feels like it's been ages since she was little enough to fit in the crook of my arm.  

Four is still so little.  Little enough that I can carry her often.  Little enough I am still her super hero.  Little enough that she prefers baths over showers.  Little enough that the entire world is viewed through the lens of imagination.  Little enough that she could never get enough kisses or hugs. Little enough that she still loves to snuggle in my arms on the couch. 

But, four is so big!  Big enough that she can go potty almost all by herself.  Big enough to go to school and do SO well.  Big enough to get dressed, put on shoes and brush her teeth on her own.   Big enough to sing and dance along to her favorite songs.  Big enough to ride her scooter and her bike.  So big and so little all at once. 

I never thought that I would have only one child for as long as I have but, I can tell you that these four years one on one with my daughter, Daisy Love, have been an absolute treasure.  She is a priceless give from God.  My arrow.  {Psalm 127:4}

 "I'll love you forever.  I'll love you for always.  As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 

(roger knapp)

Happy Happy fourth Birthday my darling brown-eyed girl! 

Run To God

I heard a really moving story on the Christian radio station this morning on my way home from dropping my kiddo off at preschool.  A 13 year old boy called in to the station to share that one of his beloved farm animals broke its back and the only option his family had left was to put the animal down.  The responsibility fell to the boy by his choice and in tears the boy retells that after he put his special friend down he was crying out to God and asking why this animal had to break it's back and why did it have to die and he said that God lovingly told him, "My only son died."  It was a simple reply but, packed with a much deeper message.  The boy concluded his call (still in tears) by saying, "I just want people to know this.  It's so important that they know when they lose a loved one or a beloved pet that God understands.  He had to give up his only beloved son.  We can run to God with our hurts.  He understands better than anyone.  Run to God."  

What a wise boy!  I was seriously choked up listening to his call this morning.  It was powerful to hear a young boy share about how God spoke to Him in the midst of his brokenness and how God's simple words ministered to this boy's heart in a powerful way.  God is personal.  He will speak what we need to hear.  He knows how to comfort and encourage each of us perfectly because He alone knows our hearts.  

Sometimes we get angry and blame God when we are hurting or when we lose a loved one.  It's totally understandable to feel that way at times.  I think many of us have or will be there at some point in our lives.  But, I have learned that in this fallen world that we have no greater ally than God when we are broken.  He understands most profoundly what it means to endure it all.  Sometimes I think we forget just how great His sacrifice was.  I think we lose sight of what great lengths our Heavenly Father has gone to, to reach us, redeem us and set us free.  His love for us is immeasurable.  Run to God friends.  He will meet you in the midst of whatever you are going through.  His love heals.  

I know a lot of happy people, currently in thriving life seasons (yeah for the mountaintops!) but, I also meet hurting and broken people in the valley's of life every day.  People looking for hope.  People looking or encouragement.  People needing to be comforted.  People living defeated. People needing to know that they are not alone. 

God's arms are always open.  He will never leave you. 

"Then Jesus said, Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 

I shared this video a while back on Facebook but, it is seriously one of my favorites and is going to be on repeat in my house for a while.  I literally get chills every time I listen to it.  

"Hallelujah.  Thank you loving God for sending your son to teach us what perfect love looks like.  To teach us what true sacrifice means.  To teach us how to serve, forgive and surrender.  Thank you for His ultimate sacrifice..."that while we still sinners, Christ died for us!!"  Thank you for conquering death so that we have the hope of eternity with you in paradise.  Thank you God for leading us to victory!  You know our hearts and your love for us knows no bounds.  We never have to run from you God because your arms are always open. 

Romans 8:37-39  "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Capturing Her Essence

When I grew up, video cameras were the size of a small car and people would have to lug those suckers around for hours at the cost of severe shoulder cramps and stiff muscles for days just to capture special events.  Now we all have tiny, light weight cameras right at our fingertips (in our phones) and I have not captured even half as much as my family did before me.  I have no excuse.

 I got the urge this week to document through video and I carved out a little extra time to capture the essence of my kiddo who is almost four.  I wanted to capture her mannerisms and facial expressions, her conversational style, her vocabulary, her interests, her sweetness and silliness all at the same time.  She is changing so much every day it seems and this age really is so much fun.

Daisy is not great about carrying on as usual if she knows that I am recording her.  I have to make it appear as though the camera is sitting on the table away from me which is why she is off screen a bit in one of the videos.  

We had fun making coleslaw together or as she calls it Kholz.  I think she enjoyed making this "show" so much that we will be doing more of them in the future and maybe someday she will do a show all on her own:).  I hear that there happens to be another Daisy Martinez and she is a celebrity chef!  Maybe it has something to do with the name?  You never know...;)

 I am impressed that I am managing to pass on an interest in cooking in spite of the fact that I dislike it so much.  Maybe someday Daisy will love cooking so much that she will want to cook dinner for me every night.  Nah.  It never works out that way but, I'll keep telling myself that in the hope of keeping some wind in these sails of mine.  lol

  Oh and please excuse the ant that rudely video bombed us.  I noticed him after watching this video a handful of times and realized how gross it is to see a bug in a video revolving around food.  Sigh.  We have had a few of them marching around this winter but, I promise our house is not overrun with bugs and this food was eaten by our family...not guests. lol

 Daisy really wants to be "married."  She obviously has little to no idea what it means to be married but, she thinks it has something to do with wearing a white princess dress and that is enough to get her excited.  The boy she wants to marry is Vincent.  He is a sweet neighbor friend:).  

Daisy is such a mega girly girl but, she can also be wild and rough at times.  I'd say she's a good balance:).   I think this video captures so much of her personality.  Love my little peanut.

and here is a super short video of Daisy at her first ballet class. She loves ballet. The short 45 minute class can really wear her out because she strains so hard to do exactly what the teacher says and it doesn't always come easily for her.  She loves wearing her tutu and she loves wearing all pink.  It can be a challenge to get any color other than pink on her some days.  Little pink princess.

They Grow Too Fast

I posted this picture on instagram last week but, I just love it. My sweet Daisy will be four next month.  FOUR!  I seriously can't believe it...and I can't believe that I can't believe it but, for me at least, it never gets easier to process how quickly time flies and how fast our babies grow into adults. 

Daisy has never had much of an opinion about what she wears.  I hear stories about how exhausting it can be when a little girl puts up a fight each morning over every little detail of her outfit.  I'm still waiting for that independent spirit to kick in with our kiddo and I'm sure that time will come soon enough.  But, for now I am savoring the fact that I get to dress her in what I want and she could care less (99% of the time)...so long as pink makes a regular appearance.  The shirt was $2.50 at Target!  Have I mentioned lately how much I love Target's clearance sales.  They are thebomb.com.  The pants are from baby Gap and I have my seester to thank for scoring me so many awesome Gap goodies for my kiddo.  Thank you Becca Boo.  The shoes were $4 at Old Navy.  Daisy actually found them in what appeared to be a discard bin with hangers piled on top of them.  They were literally the last pair in the store.  She insisted on having them and I didn't argue.  She has good taste even if she doesn't care all that much. 

And I am not sure if I love hearts so much simply because they are the symbol of love, or because they are so cute, or because my last name was Hart prior to getting married...but, I don't think you can ever have too many hearts.  Love her heart outfit.  I'd like one for myself as a matter a fact! 

In other random Daisy news:  We got the Frozen music CD a couple of weeks ago and we have been listening to the songs hundreds of times a day since then (because I am a softie mom and would rather keep my kiddo content in the car even if my ears are literally burning inside!)  I have all of the songs memorized and I catch myself singing them at random times of day and when I am walking around alone in public.  I need to stop.  Someone please help me.  

On the other hand I do love the movie and the songs are pretty...or at least they were the first few times I heard them.  I love listening to Daisy sing them in the back seat of our car.  She has almost all of the lyrics memorized as well.  Another blaring reminder that she is not so little anymore. 

Daisy you are my sweet, loving, wild and wonderful little buddy.

Oh how I love her so. 

When I Hear Kenny G Music Playing

For over 25 years I swam in a crystal blue pool, under swaying palm trees, in southern California, Summer after Summer while Kenny G music played over the outdoor sound system.  I would lay out in the warm sun, on my Gram's floral patio furniture and the sweet sounds of saxophone and jazz would lull me to sleep.  I don't know too many teenagers that unashamedly love Kenny G but, I was one of them, thanks to her.

She was an early riser and whenever she hosted one of her many grandchildren sleepovers she would turn the radio on to jazz music and it would be playing softly in the morning to greet us.  She always had a delicious breakfast waiting for us when we finally decided to drag our lazy bums downstairs.  She never rushed us or expected anything of us grandkids.  How she served us so patiently and sacrificially through all of our selfish seasons, I'll never know.  

As she got older she would sit outside for many hours in between spurts of watering her roses or tending to her yard.  She loved being in her garden.  I would say it was her happy place and her roses brought her so much joy.  As long as her sound system was working I could hear those sweet jazz melodies playing softly behind the scenes.  The music danced through the warm breezes and into my ears like a warm hug or Mother's kiss.    

There's just something about when I hear Kenny G music playing.  Such peaceful melodies.  So soothing and absolutely bursting with memories.  I laugh.  I smile.  I cry.  

I've had two Kenny G channels saved to my Pandora station for a few years.  Whenever I nap or if my kiddo naps with me, I always turn one of those channels on.  I'll admit that more often than not, instead of napping, I will lay awake in bed listening to the tunes and watching the memories roll through my mind and across my heart.  It's beautiful to remember her so well and to have so many wonderful memories.  Such a priceless gift.  

I find myself chuckling at the recollection of her walking around nearly nude year after year (in a skimpy bikini) even in her 70's while watering her flowers.  More often than not she always had her fuzzy slippers on even if she was only wearing a bikini and I can still remember the sound of them shuffling across her stone pavement in her backyard.  Sweet, sweet memories.

Oh how I miss her so.

Death is strange, in that it seems that every loss I have experienced has been a completely different emotional journey for me.  Just when I think that I have learned the healthiest grieving techniques, I lose someone or something else and I realize that I really don't know anything about grieving.  Life just walks us through loss and sorrow whether we like it or not and we simply have to surrender to it and let time works it's soothing balm on our weary hearts.  

There are some people that we simply never stop wishing for another moment with.  She is one of those people.  I may have no choice but, to learn to move on without them but, the longing never dies.  Every week and especially on birthdays I miss her calls and thoughtful gifts.  With each holiday, I miss her savory cooking and the joy of her traditions.  Every Summer I miss her giant blue pool and the beautiful oasis that it was for so many of us.  Every day...I miss her.

Because of her, I cherish the close bonds of family and time spent with loved ones.  Because of her I will strive to create my own special family traditions.  She taught me what it means to be a listener, a giver and a friend through all the ups and downs.  It wasn't always perfect of course but, somehow we always forgave and moved right along.

I love you Gram and thanks to you, Kenny G, inspired this blog today.

Till we meet again...xoxo

Happy Valentine's Day 2014

Happy, Happy love day to all of our friends and family!    

I hope you are all enjoying your day.  After all, this is just another day and another chance to tell the people that we love, "I love you and appreciate you." I hope you find yourself in the company of people that you care about today and I hope you know how loved you are.  

Our good friends, The Morris Family, are moving across country and our house is their first pit stop tonight.  Can't think of better people to spend the evening with:).  I'm definitely sad to see our dearest pals move so far away but, I'm thankful for all the years we have enjoyed in close proximity.  Praying that God blesses their socks off in their next chapter.  We will miss you guys like crazy.

Here are a few festive pics that I snapped of Daisy and her brand new cousin Avery Jo.  I was very impressed with both girls during this super fast photo op.  Daisy held Avery like a pro and Avery tolerated Daisy like a pro:).  I love them both to pieces.  Such a treat to finally be an auntie.

I have many more pictures to share from this session but, I am in a hurry...like always so this will have to do for now.   Enjoy! 

Much love from our family to yours. xo

The Best Snow Day

It started snowing yesterday evening and it continued to snow through most of the night. We woke up to about 3 inches or so of white powder all over the neighborhood and it was so beautiful!   Snow is a rather rare thing here so when we get enough to play in...which could even be half an inch, even the grown ups get very excited and school and work gets cancelled everywhere. haha.  It's awesome.  

I couldn't wait to wake up and peak through the blinds to see how much snow we had.  I squealed (quietly) when I realized that it was more than enough to play in with our kiddo all day.  She has never really had the opportunity to play in snow yet as it often melts too fast or is too cold and windy outside.  The weather today was perfect for a snow day and school was cancelled.  The sun was out and the air was calm.  

We got moving pretty fast and threw on as many layers as we could.  We are from southern California so layering is essential or we die.  I'm not joking...okay, just a little but, honestly, they don't prepare us for cold weather where I come from and by cold I mean anything below 60 degrees.  Thankfully I still have my snow boarding gear from 15 years ago and it still works like a charm.  One of our awesome neighbors scored Daisy these darling pink snow overalls and they looked SO cute on her...would't you agree:).  We all stayed nice and warm today.

We got outside around 10 AM and the fun kicked in to high gear.  Several of our neighbors came over and brought their snow sleds and we used our steep lawn as our runway.  It was a BLAST.  Even the adults got in on the fun and took turns sliding down the packed ice.  I can't even remember the last time we all had such a good time.  Daisy never tired of it and never slowed down for even a second.  She walked up and down the hill hundreds of times and slid down by herself and with her friends.  Such a big girl and such a dare devil! 

We played for a couple of hours, ate lunch and then headed out again to a much steeper hill on the edge of our neighborhood.  We spent another couple of hours sledding there and then drove home in the back of Joey's truck atop a pile of fresh snow.  

It was a great day to say the least.  

I hope you all enjoyed your day too! 

a couple of bloopers to wrap things up...do you see that white pipe on the left?  Yah, running in to that thing hurt...

I think I fell out shortly after but, even still it was SO SO SO much fun.  I may not think so when I wake up tomorrow with all my bruises and stiff joints but, for now I'd say this was our best snow day ever.  Thanks to all of our neighbors who spent the day with us and made it that much more special!  We are so thankful for all of our awesome neighbors.