Saturday, August 7, 2010

Cry It Out -Thoughts, Suggestions, Opinions?





Super cute jammies and bunny hat from Aunt Anna and Grandma Lulu.  Love the hat!!



Daisy loved her auntie! Daisy can still have a bit of separation anxiety and is quite reserved around people she doesn't know (yes, it really can be an issue in children as young as Daisy) so I was so thankful that she warmed up to Anna as quickly as she did. We discovered how much Daisy likes red plastic cups while Anna was here and now we have a plastic cup devoted to Daisy so she can chew on it and play with it like a big girl:) lol

So, on to other things. I've mentioned on here before that Daisy is a very consistently inconsistent sleeper (lol). She goes to bed around 9 or 9:30 and then usually wakes up crying around 11...like full blown crying for her pacifier. She goes back to sleep with no problem and I don't have to soothe her or talk to her..just have to give her the pacifier. Then like clock work she starts waking up frequently from 1-4:30 AM. It varies but, she often will wake up crying furiously every 30-45 minutes or so and I continually go in and give her pacifier back and occasionally have to stroke her head (AHHHH, so anti Baby Wise, I know) and then she will fall back to sleep. Basically it is a long, rough night for me and has been for the past 4 months but, every so often Daisy will sleep straight through from 9:30 until 5 AM and I'm in heaven on those nights. I just wish she be more consistently a good sleeper. Some people seem to have a great experience with their babies just loving sleep from early on...Daisy is like her Daddy and fights it tooth and nail. I know everyone has very strong opinions about letting a baby cry it out or not. Daisy is only 4 months old (love to eat, as evidenced by her size) and it's hard for me to want to let her cry it out when I'm not yet sure when her wake up time should be to eat. I've tried giving Daisy a later night feeding to hold her over but, she still wakes up just as often so I don't think that will help things. Anyways, I'm not a fan of the crying it out thing to be honest....but, I totally respect that it has worked for so many families and I'm almost getting to the point that I'm going to have to go that route, because I'm SOOOO exhausted everyday and have no energy to do anything. It KILLS me to hear her screaming and she does cry much longer than 15 minutes at a time. She could easily scream for over an hour in her crib so this would be a super tough experience for me and for her at this point which is why I haven't tried it sooner. I would like to hear some different perspectives as to what has worked or not worked for you with your babies at night. Were they just great sleepers from the get go? Did you have to train them or did they eventually fall into a sleep pattern on their own over time? Are you a fan of the cry it out approach or do you find other methods work better?

13 comments:

  1. Hi Casey!!
    I think the cry out thing you're not supposed to do until at least 6 months......worked wonders for me. I did the ferber method. It's a system letting them cry it out, but it don't just abandon them. You'll have to read the specifics, but basically, you go in every five minutes (longer each night) if they're screaming. You don't pick them up, but you let them know you're there, I'd lay them back down. Seth was so stubborn he fell asleep standing up the first two nights. Ferber method is supposed to work within a week. I think it worked in three days with Seth, and two with Brandon. This won't necessarily make them sleep through. If they're hungry, they will wake up. If it's been awhile, you feed, then lay them down. If they cry, do the ferber method. Makes for a couple tiring nights, but helps soooo much! Brandon slept through the night early on, but then got sick and was up non-stop - which messed up his sleeping. I had to do this to get him back on track.
    With Seth, I didn't do it until he was about 8 months. He was up every hour until then. Sleep is wonderful!!
    Can I make a suggestion though? Try ditching the pacifier. Sounds like she sucks herself to sleep, accidentally spits it out, then wakes up....she might need to learn to sleep without it. Then she won't have to wake you up to get it back :) Just an idea!! Good luck! I remember with Seth how awful it was not sleeping!!

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  2. I agree with Patti that the cry it out thing isnt' usually until 6 months old. And it is a few rough nights but in the end works itself out! Can she put the pacifier in her own mouth yet? I know she might be a little young for that yet, but once they can, just clip it to her and she will find it throughout the night and pop it back in her mouth. Works great! If you want, try the rice cereal at night, it might fill her tummy some more. I know my boys even though they were fed rice cereal at 4 months still woke up during the night to nurse once or twice. In fact Logan did until he was 9 months old...but that was our fault for not making him sleep through the night. So don't wait till 9 months old:-) Sorry it can be so rough...i know that uninterrupted sleep can be so horrible! Hope it gets better!

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  3. Being completely honest with you, my kids did not sleep longer than 3 hours at a time at night until they were all at least 9 months old. We also made the choice to share a room with them until 6 months old. We had a co-sleeper, so it made it easy for me to roll over, nurse and then go back to sleep. I barely had to wake up. I did not stress about trying to "sleep train" until at least 9 months old. BF babies digest the breastmilk so quickly, they need to eat more often, especially before they've begun solid food. And although I think it's different for every child, I just didn't feel like my babies were ready to "learn" to sleep all night until they were 9 months old. So, my advice?? Stick it out. I know it sucks, I KNOW. I'm not entirely anti-CIO, but I am very much anti following some prescribed system without taking into consideration my child and her personality. My gut says 4 months old is too young, but that was for MY children. You have to do what you feel is best. But just keep reminding yourself that it's only a season. And someday you'll be yearning for her to be little again. Good luck!

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  4. You could also try a sound machine IE: rain, ocean waves, whomb sounds etc... turn it on when she goes to bed and if she wakes up anytime during the night it should lul her back to sleep. they have different ones at target or also babies r us. Good Luck!

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  5. I did the cry it out with all 3 of my kids. I agree with everyone else, that it should start around 6 months. It is hard to do at first, but once they start sleeping through the night, you'll see that it was well worth it. I'm following from MBC.

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  6. It does sound like you have some good advise. Yes about 6 months or so, before they sleep good.
    kim

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  7. That bunny hat is really cute!

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  8. Love the bunny hat! Holy moly that is cute!!!! I know I kind of shared my thoughts with you about this before. If you don't remember I said I did the cry it out thing with my kids but this time around with Coop I was going to look into the no cry sleep solution. Well, I'm feeling you on this post because Cooper is waking up so much now and will only go to sleep with a bottle and just cries and cries if I just give him the binki. I'm exhausted too. So lately I have been considering doing the cry it out thing because it worked so well for my other 2. But I haven't gotten my hands on that no cry book yet, so not sure. So i have no advice for you (hehe, sorry), but I can say the cry it out thing was torture but worked like a charm. With Cooper I have found that he has so many burps in him and that's why he is crying. But I'm not sure if he gets all that air in his tummy from just crying or just never got them out from his bottle. Anyway, it's a challenge here right now so all I can say is I feel ya.

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  9. I know I already wrote, but I just found out after posting the last one that another fb friend was in the same boat as you (although her daughter is almost 1 year). They got rid of the pacifier and this is what she wrote on her fb status: "Success! We ditched the pacifier last night. Ginny cried hard for half an hour then fell asleep, woke every 10 minutes or so for an hour, and then slept through the night! She usually wakes up at night because she's lost her sucky."

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  10. I did use the cry-it-out technique from the beginning. Now, at that age, I would only wait 20 minutes or so before soothing. And if he was crying like he was hurt, then I went immediately.

    I would put him down and let him fuss for about 20 minutes, then go in, stand at the door and say, "Mommy loves you sweetie. Night-Night". After another 5 or 10 minutes, he'd be asleep.

    One thing you might want to be sure of is that she's getting enough to eat before bed time. Some times they'll wake up because their hungry, and if their little tummies are too empty, it can actually be painful. So be sure she gets a good meal in first. And if she's still feeding during the night, be sure that meal's a good one too.

    It will take time, but eventually everything will go smoothly. Good luck!

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  11. Casey, it seems with ALL of mine the intention was there but just didn't happen until about a year. It's quite amazing how that hormone released while nursing keeps you from being a nut case during this sleep deprived time. I guess I don't have much advice to give to you...except that for me after that one year mark I became a strict nazi in the sleep department, but when they are sooooo little and can't speak I was a wimp! let us know how it goes...good luck! :)

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  12. Ok so I posted a reply to you on Mom Bloggers and now I realize our "crying" posts are totally different LOL. Mine was about it being ok to cry when you are overwhelmed.

    As for the baby, if she is dry, fed, not ill and basically nothing wrong, you can let her cry for a little bit.

    I have 3 children (the oldest is 23). They were all different but the basics remained the same. They cry sometimes because they want to be held and that's ok. However, rushing to them every second they cry and training them to train you. By train you I mean, "Mommy will jump when I say so!'

    Like I said if all is well with the baby, she can whimper a bit. If she's screaming her head off, obviously you can check on her.

    I talked to all of my kids. Looked them right in the eyes and asked what's wrong (even when they couldn't answer). Told them they ate, was clean etc. and laid them back down. Sometimes it actually worked! You'll be surprised at how much they know when they begin focusing. It's not necessarily what you say but the tone of your voice.

    Michelle

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  13. Not sure that I have anything new to say but I found with most of mine well they nursed they were not the best sleepers. One thing we did with one of ours that loved her soother we went out and bought a whole bunch and strategically placed them in her crib she often would find one and put it back in. During the day I made a game of her reaching for her soother it worked. She rolled early and would move all over her crib. We also tried the letting one of ours cry and it didn't work so we gave up and went back to our old routine similar to yours and within a month she started sleeping through the night on her own. If you are exhausted nap when she naps the dust will be there tomorrow. Good luck oh and she is beautiful.

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